Blabberings of simple old me...

After a long time...

2010-09-15T03:19:00.002+08:00

Hey blog and fellow frns whose following me at my blog...

Its been a long while since I last blogged...

I apologise for those who reads my blog and having no updates at all for the past I dunno how long..

Firstly... A Happy Hari Raya to all those Muslims celebrating raya...

Secondly... Well.. I'm in deep trouble at work.. Yes.. VERY BIG trouble at work.. I guess Im here bloggin cos of my trouble... I have been drowning myself with meeting frns and stuffs.. Trying to get my mind of my touble for awhile...

But it always comes back when Im all alone or back home or just before I slp..

Well the big problem was all caused by myself... I wont say whats the problem is but if the worst case scenario happens.. Well I'm really done for.. I will be very ashamed of what I have done.. I will have to cook up loads of stories to the people whom I will need to explain...

I've been praying and asking God for help... But sometimes I lose hope... Becos when I hear myself asking him for help.. Well.. I feel ashamed... All these while I haven been praying to him religiously... But when Im in trouble... I go to him... I lose hope cos If i were to be God... I would say... U have NEVER respected me nor PRAY to me religiously and now U want my help? FAT HOPE!

Yes.. I feel that way... I know they say Allah is most forgiving.. Well I sincerely hope that Allah is and is willing to forgive me after all I have done for I really need his help now...

All I can do now is to just pray to him and hope Allah forgives me and help me to cope with the problem and with the outcome...

I shall not blog more.. No mood to blog when I talk about my problems.. To whoever is reading this.. I just wish that you would pray all the best for me.. Thank you..

Can anyone enlighten me please.

2009-09-08T05:57:00.003+08:00

Song: Rihanna - Unfaithful

Just happened to listen to the above song and I was wondering to myself. How could such a thing happen. The girl seemed to love her bf(i assumed) but still she lets herself go out with another guy and intimately at that. Can anyone enlighten me please?

I admit that guys are having the same problem too but in this context it seems that the girl is well kinda in love with that guy or so I assumed. For guys usually its just plain lust and we don't have any emotional attachments which in a way makes it safer for us. Not necessarily good nor a reason to so something like this in the first place I understand. But for women... well it does seemed, in this song at least, that there are emotional attachments. Umm... Comments from anyone?

Who am I to them (For Brownie)

2009-08-06T13:03:00.003+08:00

Someones in a bad mood but I was not told why.
Who am I to them.
Their mood have been vented onto me.
Who am I to them.
No contact for almost 2 days.
Who am I to them.
They prefer to confide in their friends.
Who am I to them.
Their friends made them happy.
Who am I to them.
Where does that leave me.
Who am I to them.

Just who the fug am I to them.
Who am I to them.

Just who.... Toodles...

Sighz..

2009-08-06T03:46:00.000+08:00

Feeling very fucked up.. Wonder if anyone understands me cos sometimes I can't even understand myself.. Haiz...

Happy New Yr 09!

2009-01-24T02:37:00.002+08:00

Hey there everyone whose been reading or following my blog! Firstly Happy 2009 to all and may this year be better then the previous in every sense! Secondly thank you for being a loyal reader to my humble abode online. :)

So its a new year! Some might wonder what it could mean to them and some like myself couldn't really care much. To me its just another day diff shit if you know what I mean. New year resolution? Well I never really believed in resolutions but of cos any resolution I make, I wished it could come true. So far none ever really came true. So yeah screw those resolutions!

So what could 2009 mean for me? I couldn't really care much.. BUT... there's always a BUT eh? Hahahha... But I do wanna achieve some things this yr.

I've been without any real aim/achievements that I could be proud/happy with myself. So yeah if I could say it in this way... my New Year Resolution would be to achieve what I would like to achieve. Ya ya I know its kinda going one whole big round when I can just say it straight. Well sometimes I just don't like to say it straight. So what is this resolution? Well my first two resolutions I can't tell la. Only when I achieved it then I would say! Haha.. I'm a sucker sumtime.. Anyway my third one would be to achieve more wealth! :) I guess my fourth one would be to be more religious??

I've really failed miserably in that aspect. Sighz... Don't wanna say la.. Anywa that's all for now. Again wishing all of ya out there a meaningful 09! Adios amigos berambus! Toodles~

Our fate?

2008-10-01T02:00:00.006+08:00

Its 2am and I have not done anything to clean up my room. I hope I will have the time and strength to clean up my room. Was on the phone off and on talkin to my friend. Friend had some problem which friend might find very difficult to solve.

I am back to the topic which I just love, Life. I've been told that "God works in mysterious ways", "If God is not giving you what you want now, God's probably planing something much better" and etc. But true to my take on life which is basically, life is what we make of it with permission from God.

May I elaborate on it. There are times when we feel that we have done all we could but we are just not gettin the results we want. Things like job, love, fortune and etc. For me as a Muslim, I always believe that we just gotta work hard at what we want and at the same time pray that God will answer our prayers and bless us with what we wanted. But sometimes the things that we want is not actually good, and God knows it so he delays in giving it to us. But if we work hard enough, we will eventually get it. In this case, God sees ur effort in working hard to get what u want, altho it might not be the best for u, but for as he is most giving, he gives it to you. But most prob in the end, it wont do you any good. God din't want to give it to us initially but since we want it so much and we work so hard for it, he gives it to us and when we find out that its not actually the best for us, that's his life lesson to us.

Some of us might call it fate, but i beg to differ. Fate is one thing, but we can always change our fate. We change it by praying hard to God and working hard towards it. God will, we will get what we want. But whether its for better or worst, we will never know for we cannot see the future. Only God knows.

Let me give an example, we want to get that degree so much. So much so that we tighten our belt and save and scrimp on every dollar whenever we can and we study so hard for it. So lets say God gave us our degree and we excel in our career, earn big money and climb up the social ladder substantially fast. Along the way, as we know it, money is the root of all evil. As such along the way we sway from our inital aim; which is just to get a good career and earn jus above avg and not more. We get into trouble and indulge in things that we are not suppose too. Alas we get into trouble or maybe end of the day we find that even if we have money and status we feel that our life is empty. So is gettin what we want really for our betterment? We will never know for things can also turn out that we make it big and we give to charity do more charity help the less abled and stuffs which makes our life more meaningful. So you see my dear readers...

Whether we get it or not its God's will coupled with our effort. If its good for us God will give it to us when the time is ripe. But even if its not good for us, God might still give it to us. Not because God doesnt like us but for he wants us to learn from our mistakes. Remember that we wont be on this earth awfully long. When time comes, have we really did good? Or have we just lived life routinely?

So dear readers dun fret when we do not get what we want nor do we be so happy about it for whether in the end its good for us or not we have yet to know. But remember for everything that happens to us, there is a reason for it. Whether its good for or bad for us, end of the day God just wants to enlightened us. The question then would be how will we looked at the enlightenment that we got? Positively or negatively? If we ever get to see God's enlightenment that is...

I shall end this entry with this and let us ponder over it..
"Life is a choice that we choose from the paths that lies before us"

Selamat Hari Raya to my fellow Muslims and toodles~

HARI RAYA!

2008-09-30T04:25:00.003+08:00

Welcome welcome!

Hari Raya is just around the corner? How's my Muslim frns preparations doing? Hope all is well! For me well I haven got myself anything this year! Seriously! Seluar dalam pun tak beli siol! Only gave mom some money to get myself a baju kurung. But this year is kinda disappointing cos she got me a super super super simple one!! Now I'm contemplating to get another one cos the current is just way to simple. Hmmm.. Well maybe not, depends on budget la. I mean what for I spend on another kurung right? I'm like gonna wear it like only a few times. So yeah. Maybe I'll just spend abit more on a samping( I haven worn one for ages man! ) and maybe a new songkok! Haven got myseld a new one for a few years now. Other then that, I haven got any new shirts or pants. Maybe today I will get some for myself la.

My room have not been cleaned yet. So dirty and stuffs. Suddenly so many things to be done! And its all gonna be last min! But I am quite good with last min thinggie if my mood come. See how ar later. Hehe. Anyway if anyone is reading this, any good wallpaper? Tot wanna get it and past on my old cupboard. Its way too yellowish already and dirty too seh. I'm lazy to clean it la so that's why. See how la later. Haha!

Anyway past 3 days have been rather busy for myself. Got duties at F1. Yeah been like work home slp work everyday. Ludky 3 days only. Wonder how the CISCO and Aetos can take it. Heard they are working like up to 6days seh. Tskk..

Umm its nearing breakfast time. Think I'll just do something like clean my room a lil and then breakfast and after that slp! LOL

I think that's all for now(suddenly I feel so rushed! Grrr) Take care all and have a good raya for my muslim counterparts and happy holis for those not celebrating it! Toodles~

Off days just passed so fast!

2008-09-24T06:00:00.002+08:00

Today is my first off. From work went straight back home as usual. Had to lug my heavy bag containing my work related items inside. I dunno why, but on the bus i felt kinda sleepy(not very sleepy) so i just closed my eyes. And voila when i woke up the "next minute" the bus was already going inside the interchange! Damn!

Went down the bus and saw another bus with the same service number just berthed. So i ran(yes i can run! wow!) and went up the bus. Inside I felt tired and had this i-dun-giva-damn-attitude-to-ppl and went back to slp. Haha. Almost missed my stop but i din! :D So i went down at my stop and quickly made my way home.

Reached home I bathed and almost immediately went to slp! I woke up it was already 6plus nearing to break fast time. So just washed up my face and waited for break fast.

After that went to my work place to take some more items for work as I'm involved for the F1 duties. Its ok if I do not take the items tonite tho as I still need to settle some stuffs at workplace tomorrow. But my colleagues went there so i tot why not jus join them and slack awhile afterwards.

So yeah after taking my items, we went to have a drink and slack at the usual park and went home nearing to midnight. Reached home used the net awhile and went to slp again at abt 2am

Wow! I could actually slp at 2!!! I mean i always slp like at least 5am onwards. Guess I was tired. Its good also la. I always sleep so late that when it matters for me to slp early i cant! Like having insomnia! Damn!

Anyway just had my breakfast and i tot i will just go to bed later for about another hour or so before going to work again for briefing on the F1 duties. Ok shall not delay my slp. Have a great day readers!(if i still have any! lol)

Toodles!

Missing hol...missing what!!!

2008-09-20T04:55:00.004+08:00

Heya fellas! Its been awhile since i last blog regularly. Well good thing is I decided to try and blog regularly ar. Hiak hiak! Anyway today is my off day and guess how i spent it? Yeah!! I slept the whole blardy day! LoL.. I know its not exactly good to slp the whole day while ur fasting but I guess I was quite sleepy! Duh!

Last nite I watched Young and Dangerous part 2 so yeah I din sleep the whole nite. Kekeke.. So there I was.. Woke up at 6plus watched tv and then eat dinner! Yay! LOL... After that I went to cut my hair :D I look so much neater now. Haha.. Afterwards went to frns area to just chit chat awhile cos I was quite bored at home with many things to do(which i never really intend to do if i got the chance haha!)

Right now waiting for my uniform to finish washing(some how dat din sound quite right.. umm) After that I'll just iron em and I guess try to sleep! I have been sleeping very "early" this few days. I guess that always happens during fasting period. Sheesh!

I was wondering what I did yest and i finally recalled. Took me quite awhile tho to rem. Must be I'm doing something I'm so not interested. Anyway Yest was first off and the night before was doing my armoury stuffs. And guess what! One holster went "missing" Damn! I tot I was so damn unlucky! So yeah the whole blardy place kinda knew that it went missing. So after my night duty, as usual, we just slack at the team office and some of us jus doze off. I tried too but i guess i cant keep my mind off the stupid missing holster. I recounted everything that i did and it finally occured to me that the holster could not be missing. Cos the total amount yest(with no holster issued) and the amount I handed over is correct! It cant be suddenly out of nowhere my holster gave birth! So yeah after checking with my admin officer and some brain cracking(damn!) i was pretty confident that it was not lost. Sheesh! Interesting night! Grrr!!

Sian! Tml I'm on patrol! Arghh I just hate patrollin you know. All kinds of idiots exist in this world I'm telling you! I only like to attend interesting and big cases! Keke cos I will see everything first hand and I wont be managing the incident really cos my supervisor would there managin it so i can "lelek"(relax.. lol)

K la.. I guess its until here.. Gonna wait for uniform to finish washing(still doesnt seem right) lol.. and i'll be going to lala land! Good nite everyone and to the muslims, hope raya preparations are hot! Toodles!

Let me break from my hiatus with this...

2008-09-20T04:55:00.003+08:00

Bila Allah cepat memakbulkan Doamu, maka DIA Menyayangimu
Bila DIA Lambat memakbulkan doamu, Maka DIA Ingin Mengujimu
Bila DIA tidak memakbulkan Doamu, maka Dia merancang sesuatu Yang lebih Baik Untukmu. Oleh itu, sentiasalah bersangka baik pada ALLAH dalam apa jua keadaan pun
Kerana kasih sayang ALLAH Itu Mendahului KemurkaanNya

Semoga hidup kita diberkati Nya InsyaAllah.. Slamat berpuasa dan menyambut Hari Raya yang mendatang InsyaAllah.

Hiatus

2008-08-14T00:16:00.002+08:00

Yup! Its that time again for me to disappear. Too many things happening at the same time. Time to take some time off. Seems like I keep making the same mistakes. You all stay safe and take care! Toodles...

"For all that's worth.. It's not worth it.."

Leave out all the rest

2008-08-04T01:17:00.003+08:00

Music: Leave out all the rest
Artist: Linkin Park
Feeling: Confused, tired & sleepy

Just finished chilling with a poly friend of mine. Just talked about some unfathomable things and the upcoming 8million TOTO. Weirds ideas coming out from my head. If i got 8 million... tsk tsk... I'll rule the world for the next few days! lol

I need to sleep fast as i'm gonna work a few hours later. So thought I'd just blog a lil. Today my friend ask me if i have the song(refer to first few lines) so i tried to find for him. The first time it was the wrong song but on the second try its correct! Yeah you guys should try to listen. Its a nice song. At least to me it is.

I just love night time. Its so peaceful and cool. Just what is needed inside my heart. I got loads of things on my mind going on at the same time. I know there's alot but to think one by one is juse taking too much time. My eyes half closed while typing this blog so i guess i'll just go and sleep soon. Take care all.

Toodles...

NEVER

2008-07-27T03:37:00.005+08:00

I wrote some kinda nasty things and decided to delete them all away. I guess I just wanted to write these few things to make my point.

I put in so much EFFORT, TIME, SACRIFICES to try and make things work. And i guess as much that its because that i am not the type of person you are looking for and as such i will NEVER get you. I will NEVER get your attention. I will NEVER match up with your guys. I will NEVER be felt as something SPECIAL in your heart. I will NEVER be asked to go out with you. I will NEVER get a call for you just to chat. I will NEVER get close to your heart. I will NEVER be given a chance on you.

But i will be.. just someone you know who has a HEART for you. And just so you know the heart is breaking.

Ask yourself.. Do I deserve this...

Just because i am not the type your are looking for.

I've made my point... Good night N sweet dreams to all... Cest la vie...

Toodles..

How God works? Maybe...

2008-07-06T01:23:00.001+08:00

Got this from an email.. Kinda interesting... Enjoi~

Why do we read Quran, even if we can't understand a single Arabic word????

An old man lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur'an. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, 'Grandpa! I try to read the Qur'an just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?'

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, 'Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.'

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, 'You'll have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again
the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.

The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again. At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would Leak out before he got back to the house. The
boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty.

Out of breath, he said, 'See Grandpa, it's useless!'
'So you think it is useless?' The old man said, 'Look at the basket.'
The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different.

It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

'Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.'

If you feel this posting is worth reading, please forward to your friends.

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) says: 'The one who guides to good will be rewarded equally'

Ponder and toodles~

What's stopping us from reaching our best?

2008-06-20T04:11:00.007+08:00

Have you ever had that feeling that you could do much better with your life? Doesnt matter if your or if your rich or poor. Doesn't matter if people say you can't. Doesnt matter if you ain't got any track record to prove it. I believe that all of us can achieve(at least be somewhere very near) what we want. Its the believing that matters.

I believe that we should use the odds against us as the very thing that would motivate us. Typing is easier that doing. Trust me.. I tried! But i guess if we think about it hard enough, someday we will get sick enough of not getting what we want and we'll do something about it. Unfortunately for some they never get sick. They'd rather go with the flow. Its kinda sad because i guess they can be much better then where they are right now.

Of cos there are people that dream big and never realise that their dream might be too big. no doubt the saying goes aim for the moon, because even if you don reach it, you'll land among the stars. But i guess we should all take it with a pinch of salt. Don be overly confident on our own abilities lest it will be our downfall. Even the very best of people knows their limits

As for me, I'll still stick to one of my guiding principles in life. That is.. success has a different meaning to different people. One's success in wealth doesnt mean he is successful. One's success in career doesnt meant they've succeeded. One's success in love does not mean it'll last. One's ever seemingly superiority over another does not mean he is any better. For each of us has a downside in life and whether we choose to acknowledge it or not is up to us. The ability to accept it and work on it and try to improve it is what i would call success. For one can never truly taste the sweetness of success if one never taste the bitterness of one's flaw. To accept that very flaw is to acknowledge one's imperfectness.

Ponder on this post for if you feel something.... You should know what to do.. Good night and toodles~

I cant slp...

2008-04-26T02:25:00.002+08:00

I'm suppose to be asleep by now. But i just cant. Wonder if its my late night routine that's preventing me from sleeping or the Redbull I drank. Must be the combination of both. Sighz. I'll be doing CGH post later on. Just hope that I won't be busy. If not, i'm in for alot of trouble and stress cos of my sleepy condition later on.

Aint alot of happening things going on in my life as usual. Some of the thangs i've done for the past few days... Went to JB with my colleagues. Had supper, shisha, cock talk and fun. Nice to have some small gathering once in a while. Bought some stuffs and we den went home. Reached my place near to 5am! LOL Was dead tired by then. Went up and took a bath and slept soundly like a baby.

Had a run at ECP with my friend cos of IPPT coming up. Failed the first time as usual. Hopefully to pass this yr as i failed the last. Gonna affect my bonuses if i dont unfortunately. Ran around 20mins plus and walked back to the car for about 1hour! Damn it was a long walk. Had supper again and back home. The next day was infd by my friend that his left side of the car had some dents and scratches. Poor fella. Gonna cost him ard 200buckaroos! Comes with the territory i guess. Hehhe..

Recently 2 colleagues of mine just bought a new car. One Lancer Ex and the other Lancer GLX(OPC) They really make ppl in my line looked good with owning cars. I'm sure people would think that joining the civil service makes one rich! Sighz. Yeah i hope to own one some day but i do not think it would be in the near future cos dun wanna be stuck in my current job! The consequences would be unthinkable I tell ya.

Oh ya my love life!!! Nothin happened. Haha. I'm not actively looking for one really. Not in my priority yet. Wanna settle down in my job first. This job aint one i'd like to do for a long time. Maybe after my bond finish, after getting my rank(hopefully) i'll join another uniformed group yeah. That's if i'm unable to transfer out.

Well that's all the updates i have.. Gotta try to slp again! Nites and toodles~

Untuk renungan bersama..

2008-03-29T04:35:00.002+08:00

Got this from my email.. I guess some of us are guilty of it... Read it and ponder...

Adalah seorang hamba Allah ni, dia pergilah bersiar-siar di tepi hutan. Sedang dia menghirup udara rimba yg segar tu, tetiba dia terdengar satu bunyi.. jeng!jeng!jeng!.. bunyi.... aauuummmmm!!! Bunyi harimau yg kelaparan dan hanya menunggu mangsanya saja. Jadi, si hamba Allah ni pun lari untuk menyelamatkan diri. Harimau tu kejar hamba Allah ni. Sebab dia dah lapar sangat ni. Harimau tu pun kejar, kejar, kejar dan kejar. Hamba Allah ni punyalah takut, berlari lintang pukang. Sempat juga dia berdoa agar dia diselamatkan daripada dibaham dek harimau tadi.

Dengan kuasa Allah diperlihatkan sebuah perigi di depan mata nya. Jadi untuk menyelamatkan diri si hamba Allah ni pun terjunlah ke dalam perigi. Perigi tu ada tali dan sebuah timba. Si hamba Allah ni bergayut pada tali tu. Tali tu pendek jer. Jadi dia bergantungan di tengah-tengah perigi.
Di mulut perigi, harimau yg lapar tu menunggunya. Si hamba Allah ni pun berfikirlah macam mana nak menyelamatkan diri, sambil berdoa kepada Allah agar dia diselamatkan. Tengah dok berfikir camner nak selamat, tetiba dengar bunyi kocakan air di bawah perigi.

Aaaaa!!!!... Ya Allah..... lagilah seram dibuatnya. Nak tahu ada apa kat bawah tu? Ada 2 ekor buaya yg kelaparan. Apalah nasib. Dah jatuh ditimpa tangga. lagilah takut si hamba Allah ni. Atas ada harimau bawah ada buaya. Semakin risau dan takut.

Tengah berfikir untuk mencari jalan keluar, tetiba keluar seekor tikus putih dari lubang celah-celah perigi, naik ke atas ikut tali yg hamba Allah tu bergayut. Sampai kat atas tikus tu gigit tali tu pulak. Cis, kurang ajar punya tikus. Alahhhh... cam ner ni. Pas tu, keluar lagi seekor tikus yg berwarna hitam. Naik mengikut tali tadi, cit!cit! cit!cit! sampai kat atas.Tikus hitam ni pun gigit juga tali tu. Cis, lagi satu. Macam mana aku nak buat ni... habislah jadi mangsa buaya.

Berfikir lagi. Kalau naik kat atas makan dek harimau. Kalau tunggu tali putus dan jatuh ke bawah makan dek buaya. Macam mana nih... Sedang hamba Allah tu berfikir cam ner nak selamatkan dirinya, tetiba.... terdengar satu bunyi.... uuuuuuuuuuuuu.... Bunyi lebah bawa madu.
Si hamba Allah ni pun mendongak ke langit, melihat lebah yg sedang bawa madu. Tetiba setitik madu terjatuh dan terus masuk ke dalam mulut si hamba Allah ni tadi. Punyalah nikmat sehingga tidak terkata.

Hamba Allah tu kata, "Fuh manisnya madu ni , tak pernah ku rasa manisnya ni. Sedapnya. Subhanallah sungguh sedap ni." kerana setitik madu si hamba Allah tu lupa pada harimau yg sedang menantinya di mulut perigi dan buaya yg menantinya di bawahHarimau yg mengejar tu adalah maut kita, ajal memang sentiasa mengejar kita, so beringat-ingatlah. 2 ekor buaya itu adalah malaikat Munkar Dan Nakir yg menanti kita di alam kubur nanti.Tali yg tempat di hamba bergayut tadi adalah jangka hayat kita kalau pendek talinya maka panjanglah umur kita dan kalau panjang talinya maka pendeklah umur kita.
Tikus Putih dan Hitam tu adalah dunia kita siang dan juga malam yang sentiasa menghakis umur kita. Kan tikus tu gigit tali tu.

Madu... madu yg jatuh setitik ke dalam mulut hamba itu tadi adalah nikmat dunia. Bayangkan setitik saja madu tu jatuh ke dalam mulutnya, dia lupa pada harimau dan buaya tu. Macam kitalah bila dapat nikmat sikit lupa pada Allah. Waktu susah baru la nak ingat Allah. Astaghfirullah...

Harap harap kita tidak akan lupa apa yang akan bakal mendatang di hari kelak.. Insaf la kamu sebelom kamu diinsafkan.. InsyaAllah kita akan ke jalan yang lurus... Amin... Toodles~

To be Evil or to be Good?

2008-03-21T03:01:00.002+08:00

Sumtimes that's what i like to think. To be Evil or Good. Pros and Cons of cause. Evil wins early most of the times. Good well... Good guys win last as they say. But if we think hard enough. We all want to be Good. Sometimes its because we can't get the Good stuffs that's why we turned bad. Like my saying, we are all victims of situations every once in a while. So to be Good or Bad? Decision still up to you.. A word of caution... What goes around might just come around.. All the best and may god bless us all.

Relationships... Women... Girls... Again! LOL

2008-02-29T02:04:00.003+08:00

Let me start on my "girls again" blog..

It all started when my friend, lets call him M, had a problem with his girlfriend. M was with this girl for around 2 years. All was fine and dandy when suddenly M's girlfriend wanted to breakup. The first thought that came to my mind was.. third party.. At first, M received news that it was a third party. But later on, M got some info saying its not a third party. I was not convinced but I din really tell him being the "sensitive" person I am LOL. Certain factors around the "case" makes me suspicious but well like I said, jus suspicion. As such I sought help from one of my experienced "gf" And she agreed with me that it was most probably a third party. We then talked about the mentality of women nowadays.

I got emotionally involved in that conversation which I did tell her. She asked why? I answered something like.. I'm pretty sure that the girl know what she's getting herself into but why does she still do it? Then i gave a reason which I can think of which is.. Maybe the girl unknowingly crossed the point of no return.. But the gist of the reason that i got from my "gf" is... THRILL! !!! Gua dengar otak gua sottt!!!!!! LOL After which i told her.. yeah i agree and well.. Life IS unfair.

We then talked about the same thing as to why girls like this and why girls like that. For now the conclusion i got is still the same as what i always have in mind. But its a lil different as the "ingredients" is different and even the "bowl" which is used in the preparation is different. But the core reason is still the same. Things like...

1) The guy's boring!!!
2) Someone more interesting comes along...
3) Materialistic or "security" as some would put it or how i would put it nicely.

Also what makes me even angry is that... If the 3rd party comes along.. And if he's the FUCK n FLING type... SHE"S FINISHED! Period!

Damn life is unfair. Damn the damned! Life's a bitch! You live and then you die! Haiz... Toodles...

Beware..

2008-02-17T02:45:00.002+08:00

Got this from Singapore Honda Club.. Aint sure true or not. But good to know. Also, for those safety common sense is not in their head. NEVER stop when things happen on the north south highway. Keep going. Keep ur engine on. Anything happen whack accelerator. Be it car or bike, jus whack the accelerator. Once you stop, your almost down. Just like when ur fighting... Never fall to the ground cos once you fall.. U'll never know when you can get up if ever. BTW CID do carry personal arms I believe, but to bring it over to Msia??? That's definitely an offence if its not official as in this case i believe. But then again... ;)

This is taken from other forum. Please be wary if you like travelling very late in Malaysia be it JB or KL

Dear friends,

The latest tactic used by robbers to stop you while driving and to rob, rape or slash you has come to my attention after a friend of mine was trapped in this situation.

LATEST CASE

My good friend was driving along Kesas Highway with his wife just after Plaza Tol Puchong towards Kajang last Sunday 23rd December at around 11 pm after attending a dinner function at his relative's house in Bandar Sunway.

Suddenly, a motorbike overtook them and the pillion rider threw 2 eggs towards his car windscreen. Within seconds, his whole windscreen was smeared with the messy broken eggs. His immediate reflex action was to turn on the windscreen wipers which quickly covered the whole surface and blurred his vision.

So he immediately slowed his car and brought it to a halt along the emergency lane.

Then he got out of his car and was trying to wipe and wash the windscreen while his wife was seated inside the car. All of a sudden a Proton Satria stopped behind his car and 3 guys came running towards him with Samurai swords screaming at him to surrender his car and wallet.

Luckily my friend, who is attached to the police CID, managed to pull his gun out and fire two warning shots in the air. The 3 guys ran helter skelter back into their car and drove off at a very high speed.

He called up for assistance and was told the getaway car had a false number plate.

Apparently, this tactic has been used quite often in the latest string of road side robberies especially with lady drivers or men driving alone or with women and small children.

So please, should you encounter such a situation, REMEMBER to make sure:

1) Not to turn on your car windscreen wipers.

2) Continue driving, with whatever available vision, to the nearest petrol station, police station, 7 Eleven store or any other crowded or brightly lit place to attract attention.

Please forward this information to friends and family members.

Be Safe

Once, they did implement, after midnight, the traffic lights all start blinking orange. This is so you don't have to stop a the lights (it's safer to keep on driving) but slow down only. However, I don't know if they still do it now.

In Melaka, midnight considered late already - hardly any cars on the road at that time, so maybe can implement. In KL, not a chance....

Waja also get hijacked, so have to plan your trips, never get caught outside at night. These times are no longer as safe as before....

Updates updates updates...!!!

2008-01-30T01:41:00.000+08:00

Its been quite some time since i last updated huh. I'll try to put it chronologically yeah?

1Jan till date...
I'm back at my NPC(wonder if i blog about this before? hmm...) From the first day till date, have only been cleaning guns and counting bullets. Only once did i patrol outside. Irritating duty caused by some guy i dun like. Grr.. Old fogey! Anyway i guess i'll just carry on lar. Can't do much mah! 18Jan till 21Jan Holis at KL with team members. Visited eye of malaysia(something like the Singapore Flyer, but nothin compared to it. Not impressed at all) Went to eat to some places down at M'sia. Went to Genting, had some fun. Best part was going back to the hotel. I don't know why but I just love going back to the hotel. One of the few days in my life when i din think about anything important like life and work. Below are some pic from the trip... The rest i haven get yet ar... Ok manage to upload oni one.. grr... will update more soon hopefully...

Continued with my counting bullets duties....

29Jan
Which is today of cos. Went to my DND at Meritus Mandarin. It was so so. Nothin much to rave about. Food was ok. Entertainment aint that bad too. After DND went straight back home. And here i am typing this updates. Haha Also just updated my phone software and so far the phone's been good. No probs. Gonna install the stuffs i wan and then most prob won't disturb the phone much. :D

Jus posting some things i got from ma mail.. Enjoy~

2008-01-13T02:51:00.000+08:00

BTW to ma cuzzin.. Possible i saw da wrong person if its not u... Kekeke...

Antara 9 Mimpi Nabi Muhammad SAW

Daripada Abdul Rahman Bin Samurah ra berkata, Nabi Muhammad saw
bersabda:

"Sesungguhnya aku telah mengalami mimpi-mimpi yang menakjubkan pada
malam aku sebelum di Israqkan........"

1. Aku telah melihat seorang dari umatku telah di datang oleh malaikatul
maut dengan keadaan yg amat mengerunkan untuk mengambil nyawanya, maka
malaikat itu terhalang perbuatannya itu disebabkan oleh KETAATAN DAN
KEPATUHANNYA KEPADA KEDUA IBUBAPANYA.

2. Aku melihat seorang dari umatku telah disediakan azab kubur yang amat
menyiksakan, diselamatkan oleh berkat WUDUKNYA YANG SEMPURNA.

3. Aku melihat seorang dari umatku sedang dikerumuni oleh
syaitan-syaitan dan iblis-iblis lakhnatullah, maka ia diselamatkan
dengan berkat ZIKIRNYA YANG TULUS IKHLAS kepada Allah.

4. Aku melihat bagaimana umatku diseret dengan rantai yang diperbuat
daripada api neraka jahanam yang dimasukkan dari mulut dan dikeluarkan
rantai tersebut ke duburnya oleh malaikut Ahzab,tetapi SOLATNYA YANG
KHUSUK DAN TIDAK MENUNJUK-NUNJUK telah melepaskannya dari seksaan itu.

5. Aku melihat umatku ditimpa dahaga yang amat berat, setiap kali dia
mendatangi satu telaga di halang dari meminumnya,ketika itu datanglah
pahala PUASANYA YANG IKHLAS KEPADA ALLAH SWT memberi minum hingga ia
merasa puas.

6. Aku melihat umatku cuba untuk mendekati kumpulan para nabi yang
sedang duduk berkumpulan-kumpulan, setiap kali dia datang dia akan
diusir, maka menjelmalah MANDI JUNUB DENGAN RUKUN YANG SEMPURNANYA
sambil ke kumpulanku seraya duduk disebelahku.

7. Aku melihat seorang dari umatku berada di dalam keadan gelap gelita
di sekelilingnya, sedangkan dia sendiri di dalam keadaan binggung, maka
datanglah pahala HAJI DAN UMRAHNYA YANG IKHLAS KEPADA ALLAH SWT lalu
mengeluarkannya dari kegelapan kepada tempat yang terang - benderang.

8. Aku melihat umatku cuba berbicara dengan golongan orang mukmin tetapi
mereka tidakpun membalas bicaranya,maka menjelmalah SIFAT
SILATURRAHIMNYA DAN TIDAK SUKA BERMUSUH-MUSUHAN SESAMA UMATKU lalu
menyeru kepada mereka agar menyambut bicaranya,lalu berbicara mereka
dengannya.

9. Aku melihat umatku sedang menepis-nepis percikan api ke mukanya,maka
segeralah menjelma pahala SEDEKAHNYA YANG IKHLAS KERANA ALLAH SWT lalu
menabir muka dan kepalanya dari bahaya api tersebut.

BERSABDA RASULULLAH SAW: "SAMPAIKANLAH PESANANKU KEPADA UMATKU YANG LAIN
WALAUPUN DENGAN SEPOTONG AYAT"

Today is my very indecisive and confused day...

2007-12-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

Why is the title so? Let me explain...

I started the day waking up around 8am++ Had to go for Remedial Training(RT) as i had failed my IPPT. Yes yes don't laugh you people. Grr.. I digress... I then went to the toilet to wash up and stuffs and took a cab to HQ. Upon my arrival there, we(yes i'm not the only one who failed, a lil bit of comfort for me i guess.. lol!) waited awhile and our two trainers(whose actually our NS guys) came and conducted warm up. We then gather and the trainers told us that none of the 3 Regular trainers able to conduct the RT and so he gave us the choice to do plan the RT. So one of the senior fella said why not we just run to Bedok stadium and 2 rounds the track and ran back. And so we did. Only thing when we did reach the stadium... maybe there was quite a few people running we decided not to run the track and we decided to run the perimeter of the stadium which is a little bit farther then our way there. And as i expected, i din't have the energy or rather stamina anymore to run back to HQ. Almost 3/4 of the way i walked together with my RT frn. LOL! How in heaven will i be able to pass my IPPT i dunno. Anyway after that we had some drinks at the nearby coffeeshop and got a free trip home. :D

Reached home and wanted to go out again to settle some stuffs. Decided to cut my hair first. So yes today i got a new haircut. Not new. Same old style. Much neater. After the haircut, i wanted to settle my stuffs but it seems to be raining. And i din bring my jacket or umbrella and so decided against going out. I reached home turned on the computer and voila! The rained subside! Sheesh. Then i felt tired. Thats when my friend wanted to go out and so chill with him at the void deck for awhile and then went back up. I felt sleepy so decided to sleep and wake up one hour later which i did. Bathe again and went out. When i just left my house i suddenly din feel like doing my stuffs. So while thinkin of what to do i took a walk to my friendly 7-11 and took a bus to interchange thereafter. Upon reaching interchange i was still undecided or rather no idea what to replace my intended intention. I just took a bus to eastpoint. Decided to go to starbucks and read some newspaper. Later i met my friend nearby and just chit chatted with him under the block. I am so looking like a void deck person huh. Hahaha.. Went to his house to watched Singapore against Thai. Such a disappointing match. Singapore was well i dunno. Made some really silly mistakes and lost 3-1. Sheesh. But i did see some promising moments. Well they are our U-23 so i guess its ok. I told my friend. Its for exposure. :D Later i left for home.

Reached home, check my mails and stuffs and went to bathe. Did ma prayers and start to type my blog. So.. due to my fickle minded and indecisive mind today i wasted alot of time going 0ut. Damn!

My attachment at HQ will be ending soon.. Very soon.. Together with 2007. I can remember that i did type my new year resolution the last year. For this year most probably i will. But when i wont be so sure.

My attachment at HQ has been ok. Nothin much to be said. I ain't really liking the people and place there. But its just something that i have to do. I can't wait to go back to my old place. Much friendly people there. If anyone gonna get in the way of me coming back to my old place, rest assured i will wreck havoc till i am back to where i was. Yes i know the person who was swapped with me wants to stay at my place. But i can only say one thing... Lu rilek sua!

While i'm on this topic, i'd like to say that i am disappointed that one of my teammate was transferred to another team. It seems that its always my team that had to deal with this kind of problems. And worst he got a complaint a few days after he was there. No thanks to another of his team mate. Well tough luck but he'll move on i know... BRB need the toilet. Ok I'm back.

Talking about work, my career is still uncertain. Truth be told i'm not as keen to continue in my current job as i was some time back. But after my bond is up, i'm not sure i can handle the chance in lifestyle that i will have to adapt too. But i guess i'll just have to wait and see if i manage to get transferred to somewhere. My pay just came in...

And together with my bonus. Have lots of things in mind to get for myself. But all that i want are very ex indeed. 1) A pda phone 2) Computer speaker 3) A digicam. A pda phone to organise my time. I know that it would be kinda of lame needing something to organise my life but i'll just give it a try i guess. Hope it works! Computer speaker as my current rig is all black and my speaker is beige which comes with my old comp. The old compt have been given to my sis for their use and currently they do not have any speaker so i'll give my old speaker to them and get a new one for myself. Black of cos. Black is beautiful as they say. :D A digicam as i want to capture more of my life. I already have one cam and its working fine but i want something better. I might not get the cam too cos most prob it will be over my budget. I'm gonna save most of my bonus as i haven been saving this past few years i'm working. Gotta start some time and might as well now.

I wanna get a bike soon. That's after i got my bike licence. Need it for work and leisure stuffs man. I wanna get a scramble kinda of bike. Rugged. I have heard feedback that its a petrol drinker, expensive to upkeep and stuffs. But to hell with the comments. I guess i'll just give a try and see how. I have this in mind...

So how? Neat eh? I'm not sure this is for Class2b.. Zal any help? Hehe.. Mixed of off road and street capabilities. =) Well maybe i wont get this but would like to get something like this. But that's for next year i guess.

Wow i looked at the time and its almost 130am and i gotta work tomorrow. Sighz. Oh well will just have to think of the bonus i just got and try to be happy.

Umm this if the first post after so long that i find is well kinda complete. Complete in the sense that there is some substance and not just my usual ramblings. Oh ya i feel like i said this a million times but i'm on the way to making my webbie. The progress is slow but i guess its gonna be up soon hopefully! Maybe by the end of year? *Cross fingers*

Oh ya, to my dear frn Zal. Don worry about your studies yeah. Just have to try your best. Don worry for failure. Its good to experience failure. Personally i haven really had a really big failure i think. It will just make you a better and more learned person. Trust me.. You take care yeah Zal..

That's all folks... Taking care all... Toodles!

Something to ponder don't you think?

2007-12-11T02:00:00.000+08:00

INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.He asks one of his new Muslim students to stand and.....

Prof: You are a Muslim, aren't you, son?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't.
How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the
world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No , sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says
your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat,
white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold.
We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go
any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we
use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.
Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, b! right light, flashing light....But if you
have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it?
In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness
darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality.
You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God.
You are viewing the concept of God as something finite,
something we can measure.
Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism,
but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as
the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a
substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a
monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the
argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and
cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not
teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it,
touched or smelt it?....No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH.
That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

For those who believe...

2007-12-11T01:29:00.000+08:00

I received this in my email so i thought it would be nice to share...

A young man had been to Wednesday Night Class of Quranic Studies.
The Mualim had shared about listening to Allah and obeying Allah through intuition.
The young man couldn't help but wonder, 'Does Allah still speak to people through intuition?'
After Lessons, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message.
Several different ones talked about how Allah had led them in different ways and that at the end you'll know it was Allah(SWT) Who has directed you.

It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, 'Allah...If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.'

As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, 'Allah is that you?' He didn't get a reply and started on toward home. But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk came into his head.
'Okay, Allah, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.' It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home. As he passed Seventh Street , he again felt the urge, 'Turn Down that street.' This is crazy he thought, and drove on past the intersection. Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street .. At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh.
Half jokingly, he said out loud, 'Okay, Allah, I will.' He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb an! d looked around. He was in a semi-commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed.

Again, he sensed something, 'Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street.' The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat.
'Allah, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid.' Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk. Finally, he opened the door, 'Okay Allah(SWT), if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something, but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here.' He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, 'Who is it? What do you want?' Then the door opened before the young man could get away. The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep.
'What is it?' The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, 'Here, I brought this to you.'
The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway.
Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears str! eaming d own his face. The man began speaking and half crying, 'We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking Allah(SWT) to show me how to get some milk.'
His wife in the kitchen yelled out, 'I ask him to send an Angel with some.
Are you an Angel?' The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face.

He knew that Allah (SWT) still answers prayers.

elo everybody!

2007-12-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

Heylo there~ Long time since i last blog huh. More then a month. Anyway i'm back, at least for tonight, with some updates on what is happening.

Today I woke up feeling sick and stuffs. Down with the flu bug.. Bugger.. Woke up, played the net and check out some stuffs. Ate a light breakfast and then went to see a dvd. Watched Shutter. Yeah i know its kinda old stuff but i haven seen it yet. Not a bad show to be watching on dvd i guess. After that i felt tired and sick. Took my meds and zzzz... Woke up used the net again. Went down to eat and chill with ma frn. And here i am :D

The day before i felt sick. But still went out for breakfast with my ex colleague. Then went to the doc. Watched a movie with ma friend later on at night and just chill with him. Din feel very nice cos i was sick but it aint that bad.

Thats about it la.. Haha will be back later when i got more mood to blog.. Toodles~

I cant sleep... Is it insomnia?

2007-10-29T02:06:00.000+08:00

I took a quick check for my condition on www.wikipedia.com and the result as follows. I know many people say they have this condition and thus i'm not sure if i'm just one of the wannabe that jus follow suit. Ummm i just can't seem to fall asleep as easily as previously. Wonder if its the job that's affecting me or just because i slept in the afternoon. I'm suppose to work later on but can't get to sleep. Sighz. Let's just hope i can fall asleep after this entry.

Insomnia is a sleeping disorder characterized by the inability to fall asleep and/or the inability to remain asleep for a reasonable amount of time. Insomniacs have been known to complain about being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a time. Both organic and non-organic insomnia constitute a sleep disorder

Maybe its not insomnia, maybe it just that whenever i wanna go to sleep lots of things come to mind. Yeah just lots of things. All kind of things from life, love, money, ethics, personal stuffs and many more. Sometime i get worried over it, like now. More often then not i just brush it off. Or maybe i'm feeling stress. Stress over work, money and personal stuffs.

Its funny how someone so young like me seems to have so many on my mind. Or is it the trend or is it "point in time" when someone thinks alot about their future. I guess its more the latter i hope. Actually what i really feel like doing now is to go on a long holiday. Maybe 4 days or more. Just go with someone whom i think wont think any less of me when they know what kind of person i really am. I might have a few friends in mind. Well i keep saying about holidays and stuffs but never really get to do it. Wonder if its just procrastination or the unpredictability effect of life on me. Let's just hope I'll be alright what ever it may be huh?

Time flies when your having fun they say. But i wonder if its my case. Its been more then 3years since i start to work. Unfortunately financially i'm not very stable. Frankly speaking i've been indulging in worldy desires with my money. Spending it in ways i never really thought i would. But being me, i wont feel regretful. Cos i believe the situation makes use of us sometimes. But not being regretful doesn't mean i would like to continue. No sir i really dont. As such i'm embarking myself into the path of financial freedom. It sounds cliche i know but really its damn hard if you really think about it. Being in Singapore, if you can achieve financial freedom, i would say you are something.. Really! Its still early days to say if things will go my way, but i'll try. Even if its gonna be a brief moment at least i know i tried.. Maybe not very hard but i tried.

Earlier i went to watch Rendition. A movie that's out in cinemas now. Very good show i would say. Catch it on the big screens and you might know more about our current security situation. There are a few parts in the movie that strikes me. But the part which is more relevant to this entry is when the person was tortured and was asked.. If you died, who would care about you? I know it sounds like most of the chain mails we received where they motivate us to do what we want cos life is short. But when i think of it, i mean really, if we were to know when we would die, we would make the best of our life. Doing things which we really would like to.

I think the thing that is stopping us from doing the things which we really want is the environment in Singapore. It is just so stressful that it makes us forget what we actually want. By virtue of that i kinda view in awe when i see all those yuppies whom couldn't care less about the responsibilities of adulthood in Singapore. They indulge in whatever they want and really enjoy it. Yes they may not be the best candidates to bring the country to greater heights. But at least they are at ease with themselves, something which most of us cant really do. Self contentment is low in the new Singapore context. Its something we can see more clearly in our forefathers.

Dont be mistaken my friends. Self contentment does not go hand in hand with being lazy. Lazy by itself is a bad entity. If we can only have self contentment and continue to soar to greater heights would i say we would be happy. Because if the sense of being inadequate with what we have is what makes us soar, then i would say we will never fly high enough to feel happy. Like the saying goes. Be happy with what we have, but not with what we dont. With this, i end tonight's entry. Cest la vie.. Toodles!

Thinking...

2007-10-17T01:39:00.000+08:00

Have we ever thought how our future would be? Have we ever thought who we would marry? What kind of person she would be? Would she match up with our expectation? Would our job be enough to support our future family? Would we be earning loads of money with a nice big car and beautiful wife? Or would we just slog just as hard as for parents? With all the information we have at our fingertips are we really better then our father? Or would we just migrate to some other country in search of the life we wanted? Have we forgot what we really wanted? Have we forgotten what happiness, true happiness is? Alot of things i would not understand.. And i probably never will... Thats life...

eh oh!

2007-10-04T01:54:00.000+08:00

Yeah! Helooooooooo there. Yes I am still alive. Jus that i aint got the mood to blog. Anyway.. kinda a few things happen during this past month or so. Since my last blog, I lost a team mate. Yeah not in a sad way. Its just that his transfer is successful. So yeah. Its kinda sad really to see someone your close to leave. Also he helped me alot during his stay. I would say one of my close working friends. In any case, I wish him all the best at his new dept. Hope he'll enjoy it!

For me.. well i'm on loan to HQ side. Grr was arrowed to go there. Not once did i want. But jus aint in my control. Well like always, i'll just try to look at the bright side of it. I can learn new things and stuffs. So yeah.

Its the fasting month. My fasting wasnt all that great la. But what can i say right? Anyway later on today wil be going for work and later break fast with my colleagues. Kinda like a farewell for some of my colleagues. Like i mention one was transferred. Another ORD liao! Haha my ns man ar. He seems to be doing well. So yeah.

It kinda sucks. I cant celebrate Raya with family. Got to work. Sighz! Really man... kills the mood. But like I always tell ppl. If not others then its me. So yeah. I still gotta protect those people who go for raya. So yeah. Really can't wait for my next pay. Running low on fuel! Hahah even my reserves almost used up! LOL! I got some pics i wanna post up. But i cant be bothered to find out how la. Maybe next time! Haha k till then... Toodles!

Forgive me if my memory fails me...

2007-09-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

I remember the times when u cried. I remember the times when u msged me saying that your're sad. You said that he was ignoring u. U even said that u haven reason to suspect that he was two timing you. I did my best. Yes i did to make you feel better. I told you to be strong. Saying that such is love sumtimes. I was here for you when you needed me. I was there when you wanted to cry you heart out. I did you know.. I did try my best. But i was never there.. Never there in ur heart in the first place. That's what i felt. Even then i gave you my unconditional attention. But what did i get? Should i be expecting sumthing in return? Of cos i did. Who was i to kid myself. I tried not to let my feelings get in the way. But u should know how the heart works. Somethings can never be forced. And now suddenly without any faint clue, ur back with him. Hell that the post at outpost.com is really true. Being the good guy never bring him anywhere. Cos i sure din go anywhere. Nope i din. Maybe i did. Went deeper into misery. I jus dont understand it. Maybe i never wanted to understand it. But one thing i know is that thats how things work. And it din work out with me. Fuck life!

You had problems. You wanted attention. You wanted someone to be there for you. You told me your sad stories. You told me how you want to have a better life. Again i was there and gave advise to the best of my ability. But i never felt appreciated. Nope. Not once. Yeah maybe i am selfish in wanting something back in return. But thats how life is isnt it? No free lunch remember?

I want to quit on myself now. No use in being a nice guy anymore. It jus doenst work that way. You have to hurt and offend ppl and then your life would be better. Idealist i may be. But i am kept reminded time and again that life is not about being good. Cos being good aint bringin you anywhere. NO! It doesnt. Stop telling me the bullshit about being good. No more i tell you. No more. Enough is enough. I'm just gonna forget about it. It'll jus be a memory in me.

Vengeance. Yes i'm seeking it. Victory shall be sweet. One day, One fine day, You will see. That i am not someone to be trifled with. Life is unfair. It was always meant to be that way. There is no way that anyone can change that. I'm feeling pissed. Yes i am.

I'll be on hiatus. Period. Toodles..

Jiwangs more jiwangzzzz plsss!!!

2007-08-20T02:58:00.000+08:00

:D Enjoy!! Hahha more jiwangs!! Nice song man! Hahaha~

Artist: Leon
Title: Saling Merindu

Usah kau tangiskan pada cinta lama
Usah kau impikan kita 'kan bersama
Biarkan ia terus berlalu...
Bagaikan mimpi hilang di mata

( 1 )
Kini kau kembali merayu lagi
Kaitkan semula madah-madah cinta
Harapkan bebunga berputik semula
Yang telah lama...
Gugur ke bumi

( 2 )
Dalam sukma mimpiku
Ia telah berlalu
Cinta yang dulu suci
Bagiku tiada lagi...

( 3 )
Aku yang masih
Ditaman ini
Mencari bunga
Mawar berduri
Ku sangka madu
Racun berbisa
Itulah Hakikatnya...

( 4 )
Nak ku tinggalkan
Terasa sayang
Ingin ku belai
Tangan tak sampai
Pastinya kita
Saling merindu
Ku masih cinta pada mu...

My day today...

2007-08-19T02:50:00.001+08:00

Good morning! Its almost 3am right now. Thats why i wished you all a good mornin! Hehe So let me tell you about my day today. Woke up around 11 as usual. I love waking up late! Haha Went to have lunch and watch some cartoons. After that slept around 2 and woke up around 3pm. Got ready to go to my squadmate's engagement. So chop chop got ready and with my pouch and mp3 player i went out to take a bus and then the mrt and den bus to her place. Sadly only me and another squad of mine went to her engagement. But then again, engagement aint such a big thing la i guess. Went there, took some photos with her. In fact i din know what to wish her also!! Somehome i cant find the words. Ate something there and then left. Well, while trying to leave i tot i din want to say bye.. but cos long time no see her and it is quite a big event for her, so i went to the room again and jus said something like thanks and take care. My other squadmate came with her bf in a bike so i went there alone and came back alone.

It is kinda sudden that suddenly i receive her msg saying she's getting engage. I mean the malays in our squad was kinda close knitted so without any news that she's gettin serious or something suddenly engage. Well all da best to her still and may she find her happiness with her future husband! So i left her house and listened to my mp3 songs. Its all jiwangs sons by the way. Made my way to IMM. Went window shopping there alone and well almost couldnt find the exit. My earphones is kinda spoilt so i decided to get a new one. And conveniently there was Challenger there so went there and got another creative earphones. Cost me 24bucks after member's price. So made my way slowly to the interchange and took 197 back home. It was a long journey home but my mp3 and new earphones helped.

This year alone, loads of people i know got married. One of my team mate went to ROM past few days to sign the cert. Another jus got married. Today one got engaged. Another already applied for a house together. Suddenly, all those people i know got married and engaged already. So when's my turn? Thinkin about it makes me feel lonely. Sighz.

On a different note, i failed my IPPT. No surprises to my friends i guess. So we had this RT(remedial session) And damn! My thigh still hurts!!! Like hell! Reminds me of TRACOM days. Next month retake IPPT again. Doubt i'll pass. But still gotta take it. Sighz.

Writing this blog, i cant help but think about my life. I dunno why but i just feel empty. Really empty. I feel like a zombie going about daily life like just going through the motion. Go to work, come back, eat, sleep, chill with friends, watching movies, playing pool and yada yada yada. I know i whine alot in my blog. But it just seemed that i cant be able to achieve anithing. Nothing i set out to do ever materialise. I jus feel like running somewhere quiet where no one knows me and start afresh. I'm beginning to think that i am a jinx to myself. Things don seem to go the way i want it. And this has been happenin for a long time. I really do not know wat to do to remedy the situation. I dunno la, guess i'll just go through the motion of my life again and again. You guys and girls take care! Till we meet again... Toodles~

Gersang - Masih aku terasa

2007-08-17T23:45:00.001+08:00

This old malay rock ballad jus is just what i needed on this lonely nite. Its funny how these old songs meanings have these hidden power to revive my mood. Maybe from this i can say that im an old skul boi in a new skul world! Enjoi! Its in malay tho.. Kekeke..

Sejenak aku dikejutkan
Bersama ombak cinta luka
Perpisahan melanda kita
Hanya kerna peristiwa itu

Kiranya takdir mengizinkan
Inginku kembali padamu
Meneruskan cinta yang lalu
Kerana kau yang aku sayangi

( korus )
Akan kusimpan kenangan cinta kita
Yang tak akan terpadam selamanya
Kehangatan cintamu masih aku terasa
Seperti baru semalam kita berpisah

Tangisan sedu di hatiku
Menahan kepedihan ini
Sendiri aku mengenangkanmu
Hanya engkau yang aku sayangi

( ulang korus )

The fern and the bamboo

2007-08-17T21:19:00.001+08:00

One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
God:- "Look around, do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
Me:- "Yes".
God:- "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good
care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly
grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit. Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle. Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come, "
God said to me. " You will rise high!"
Me:- "How high should I rise?"
God:- "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
Me:- "As high as it can?" I questioned.
God:- "Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness. Bad days give you experiences. Both are essential to life. Keep going...

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you humble,
Success keeps You Glowing, but Only God keeps You Going....

Cheerios fellas... God bless all of u... Toodles..

2007-08-17T05:38:00.000+08:00

When issit my time? One day.. One fine day... But hell it seems as tho it aint coming.. sighz..
eh botak! where ur bloggie?? come la.. lemme see la... back to my anonymous topic.. when is my day coming.. at this rate.. i know it aint coming.. damn sure its not... what is wrong.. oh god pls! tell me.. or have u been telling but i aint been listenin? guess dats it la.. sighz...

im lost.. bery lost.. ive lost.. bery lost.. cant go any further.. im stuck here.. helpppp!! im fatetik! nites all..

Toodles...

Bourne Ultimatum!

2007-08-07T01:44:00.001+08:00

Hey hey hey!! How ma fellas! Haha I soooo wanna blog but no ideas came to mind whenever i log in.. damn.. Anyway to ma frn zal.. Lifes tough man.. but hey like wat i always say.. what doesnt break u makes u stronger... so dun worry... Jus brace urself for whatever obstacles there is.. Trust me.. End result would be sweet... Whatever the outcome is... Cos we might lose money but experienced gained.. ;)

I jus watched Perfect Stranger.. well cant really get the plot at the beginning.. even as u watch the show the director cleverly leads u to another conclusion or none at all.. its only at the end where u know what actually happens.. come to think of it its not fair la.. they tells us the story without the background.. but then again if background is told then the story wont be fun.. aint that bad a story... but wont recommend it on a weekend tho..

Still waiting to catch flashpoint.. muahha fight fight and more fight.. muhaha im a sucker for fights.. And yes Bourne Ultimatum!!! muhahahahah i cant miss this for the world!!!! I jus loved Matt Daemon... muhahaa... pretty cool bugger i tell ya.. have u caught his previous shows? Bourne identity and bourne supremacy.. muahha Bourne Ultimatum is the ending.. where he rem everything.. well i guess la... Anyway nice when he says.. Listen! Cos i'm gonna say this once.. I remember everything! Muahhaha... Cant wait for the actions and smooth slick moves he has.. Yummy yummy...

I guess thats all la.. nities... Toodles..~

Not reciprocated

2007-07-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

Its funny that i always try to put effort concerning feelings of my friends but its more then often not reciprocated. People always forget where they were before when where they are now. Really people forget that once they were not respected but now they are. They forget that they were once alone but now are not. They forget they were but now they are not. They forget the people who are there for them when they needed it most. They forget. They take lightly the word friend. Benefit of the doubt given, they do not know they meaning of friend. Pity them, thats something we can only learn from life i suppose. But for some people it hit them so hard, but they always fail to take the lesson. Toodles~

Horoscopes~

2007-07-08T03:42:00.000+08:00

Song: Class 95 - {Sailing} Christopher cross
Mood: Confusedly Happy~

The Bottom Line

Just because illusions aren't real does not mean they can't be powerful motivators.

In Detail

You know, just because illusions aren't real does not mean that they can't be powerful. To get the motivation you need right now, picture your success. Imagine what your life will be once you have reached that summit. Visualize the future, and be sure to picture a beautiful one! Sometimes, you subconscious mind needs your conscious mind to draw it a map to follow. Get detailed about what you see -- from the clothes on your back to the car you drive, imagine exactly what you want.

How i hate!

2007-07-04T01:59:00.000+08:00

Yeah! I hate seeing people having things that i dont. Ppl enjoying themselves while im doing the same old routine things day in and day out. Its suffering. In silence. When will i get out this shit!!! I'm tired of such stuffs. I wanna break free and not be bothered by these things. That seems like Nirvana to me. And i'll never achieve it. nites toodles~

Remember da name!

2007-07-03T18:52:00.000+08:00

Song: Fort Minor - Remember the name
Mood: ok ok ar

Good evening there fellas. How have you guys been doing? Evil me is back on da blog! Muahaha!! Ok that doesn't so evil. Anyway later I'll be watching Transformers with mr Farhan! Yeah second time watching with him, different movies of cos.

Something bad happen at work. Not to me but to ma team. Not sure if i said this before. One got into accident and pending outcome. Another just got defaulted for something which i think aint that bad. Another one is long gone pending outcome also. One pending transfer. One resigned and clearing leave. Another should be gone soon(resign) Wow such a different team then when i first come in. Seems like 2007 aint that great for my team at all. Lifes a bitch, you live and den u die. Sigh. Lifes unfair and no one said it wouldnt be. Sheesh such demoralising attitude. How am i gonna go thru another few years, I wonder.

Have you guys tried this new flavour from pokka Promegranate Tea. Kinda nice you know. Go try hehehe.. I'm having this toothache thinggie. After chewing something for so long then tio. Basketball. Haha my frn zal feeling stress at poly level. LOL Don worri man. I went thru it and can kinda understand the shit. This fort minor song is nice! I like.

I sense next yr gonna be a tight financial year for me. Should be starting school hopefully. Money aint here yet so thats gonna be a prob. A biggie one at that. Gotta save more and save on those vices. LOL!!!! Lucky car no buy i! if not mati mati tentu mati! Hahahhaa.. I jus cleaned up my room. And only to mess it up pretty soon im sure. I'm an untidy person saks! Pity those who marry me, if im gonna be that lucky.

Again, this thing popped into ma mind. This is a cruel world. Real cruel. To practice eat first before u get eaten is bad. But that's the way to survive. Seriously. We always have to be on our toes. You don believe? you don agree? I'm not at a loss. You ARE! Wait till you experience it yourself then you'll say.. shit should have listen. LOL! I aint got the most experience in life. Definitely the salt i've eaten is less then the rice u ate. But remember one thing, doesnt mean you ate more rice automatically makes you wiser. Kakaka...

Contemplating on my future. Funny, i feel like what i felt about 3yrs back. Want work as what eh? hahaha... I know this time gonna come sooner or later. Jus din think it would this soon. Or should i say this unprepared. Grrr.... Plans i have many2 but execution none! Procrastination! My greatest weakness. Makes me remind of an entry i wrote about me and precrastination. Hur hur..

I have frns who think they have it going for their future. But from the way they talk.. I kinda know they know nuts about working life. Really notin. Like i say, i aint no wise man but i think i went thru quite abit thru my personal encounters on da job to be saying such. Well what can i say, i could be wrong. I'll jus see how la and quietly say i told u so! hah! And i have frns whom always complain of not enuff money. Hahhaa bugger fella. no money can go jalan2! grrrr...

As for myself? lol... i admit im at a loss. Not a total loss but at a loss. LOL... One thing i dont like about me is that i do not like to press the EMERGENCY butang! Or maybe procrastinate to press. Or mayeb alarm bells aint loud enuff. Muhahaha looks like excuse after excuse.. LOL

Ciao fellas~ Toodles~

missing..

2007-06-21T01:12:00.000+08:00

Hi... I'm missing alot in this world. Gotta get my act together and push maself.. Yeah.. Inspired by my mentor.. One fine guy i would say... nites all.. Toodles~

Life is a roller coaster...

2007-06-06T17:08:00.000+08:00

Hello there fellas! Seems like there is at least One person who is still reading my blogs. Thank you. LOL! I would like to say sorry to those on my links as i haven't been enthusiastically(such word??) reading and commenting on their posts! Hey by the looks of my blog, seems like i lost touch with my blog for awhile yeah. So no offence meant and hope none taken.

I've got no idea on what to blog. Or more like i don't know how or where to start my entries. Its like suddenly so many ideas pop out at the same time that i am so overwhelmed. So here i am back to basics. Talking about life as if i'm some kind Dr Life! LOL Hey its my blog and so i shall write what i want! humpf!

For starters i went to watch Lanun of the Carribbean! aka Pirates of the Carribbean. Hehehe.. Oh i went with my long lost brader!!! Guess guess guess? Finished guessing? Confirm don't know right! Hahaha Went to see with Farhan!! Hahahahahhaha.. Manage to get some scoop from him. Tsk tsk.. It was a good movie firstly. I don't know why so many negative reviews i got from people. But i find it worth money spent really.

Some updates, Farhan finished his NS and now working at Starhub as some call centre thinggie i suppose. Din bother to ask much la. He got some plans going on for him but i reckon ummm.. Well to me it seem to good to be true but then again we never know our luck sometimes. Oh ya while sitting at Starbucks and some of his friends came over. Well i din really bother to mix with them too much la. I'm a shy person you know. But there was this gal who came. I shall not rant or comment much on her la. She looked good no doubt. Pretty little petite gal with office wear. Mild makeup with no cutex on her fingernails(yes i can be observant when i want) Spoke fluent english(hey what ya expect? most sporeans does) but a wee bit vulgar. But then i guess to her its well lets just put it as her way talking. Oh man as i'm typing i really feel like giving her a piece of my mind. Anyway its not such a bad thing. But the best part came. There was this guy(farhan frns) who ummm kind of be the goodie boy and told this gal that umm her top(pink shirt with buttons.. wait a min.. shirt all have buttons wat! duh!) well its kinda of revealing. U know the way it is with ladies who wear tight shirt and sometime you could see in between the buttons? yeah Naser.. i know u know. I digress. So when he said that. I saw me in him.. a few yrs back.

It came to me.. that i was like that in the past. But after learnin(the hard way).. I learn to let nature takes it course. I felt like telling his frn.. brader!!!! Let nature takes its cos la.. I mean cummon!!! Dont you for a toot min in your life ever think that the gal actually knows that its revealing? I mean its not like you tell her now... she will everytime pull her shirt down just to cover it? No sir no! She wont! She wore what she wore for the very reason why she chose to wear what she wore! duh!(imagine simpson duh! plus the slapping on the head.. yeah dat kinda duh!) I mean lets be frank here ok. dia bogel kau stunt jugak! Hahahahahahahhahaha... In english(to put it more politely) If the chance presents itself.. you would surely go for it man! I mean damn!

To think i was so hyprocritical last time. But its ok.. we learn as we grow and i have embraced what i needed to embrace. But pls dear frns.. dun tink any less of me after reading blog and meetin me subsequently. For if you think any less of me.. Pls la!!! I's not asking you people to oogle when u got the chance!(but if u do refer to para on top when i say if chance presents itself... and don feel guilty.. kekeke...) But yeah i guess by now you get the drift.. ;)

I notice something.. my title is always not in line with my entries.. or more like the other way round. Ok la.. thats it for now la.. I jus had to la.. I jus had to.. keke Toodles!

No title

2007-05-24T12:04:00.000+08:00

Good noon there people... I feel like blogging but i got no idea on what to blog. I jus feel confused.. Ummm.. basically im just damn irritated and frustrated with what goiing on with my life. It feels like i know what i wanna do in my life but all my actions or rather inactions shows the total contrast. I just feel like throwing in the towel man. Haiz..

I got to know this gal. There was nothin going on between us. Just frns. Seriously just frns. But out of a sudden, no msg from her for a day or two. Then i realise shes not in msn then i realise im not her frn in frnster. So to me its was quite clear. I then msg her and no reply at all. Its like i'm never gonna know why she stop talkin to me. And no, she cant be attached im damn sure of. Haiz.

And work aint goin bery well. Still da same. Late for one of my file. Damn. Sucks. I hate my job. Yeah i hate it. So what da big fuck right. Thousands of other ppl are feeling the same thing to. Sometime i feel i am so unlucky but at times i feel i am lucky enough. Haiz I'm bery confused really. Whenever i compare myself with other people, i feel so little. No doubt i am much better off then some people. But thats not the point. The point is i dunno la. There's no point. I feel so irritated right now. Ciao. Toodles~

Taking a step back...

2007-05-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

Topic is taking a step back..

Hmm... You guys and gals must be wondering why i was away for so long from ma blog. I'm busy with work and maybe planning for my life. Still i could not find a foolproof way of running it. I digress a little, there is somthing wrong with the create post in blogger. The icons are all over the page. Sighz even ma blog seems to be throwing tantrums nowadays. Damn!

Anyway i believe this is one of the longest period i have been away from ma blog. More then a month. So maybe here is some updates. I hope there are still viewing this blog and ma friend haven delete the link from their blog.

Work wise it has been the same since the last time i blog. My supervisor still sucks but i'm getting the hang of it. Thanks to my adaptibility skills. RIGHT! Loads of pressure from my supervisor but i manage to keep him off ma back for awhile and i used that time to reprogramme ma mentality towards work and it has been good so far. Alhamdullilah. Ma team mates are ok. There are some idiots of cos but i kinda know how to handle them the way i know best. ;) Hey my EQ quite high u know.. At least i'd like to think that way! Haha

Social circle wise, well i still have those few friends that i have. Maybe increase by one or two. But its been good i suppose. Since past few months i've gone out with more with ma new friends(those not from my sec sch period) Examples my colleagues and one of my poly mate. Recently met up with my sec sch friends namely Abel, Vince, Leong(surprising im seeign mroe often now haha) kwang wen(not someone i go out often with) kelvin wang( nice to know we still on the same wavelength) Alan(not so close to him but his cool tho) jonathan(ma partner in crime.. busting!) and mian cho(correct spelling???) We went to makan at marine parade and den makan at swensen after that and chit chatted and played some games. Soccer seem to be continuing under the charge of Abel. Oh ya Abel with a new gal now. She seems high class kinda gal and speaks english well i suppose.

Love life, well i still aint got a girlfriend yet. Been searching of cos but as luck has it, i'm down on it. Aint bothering me much i suppose altho is could get quite lonely at times and of cos it'd be nice to be able to go out with ladies rather then guys all da time.

Personal life and goals.. Hmmm well nothing much been going on for me. Beens lots of planning and dreamin but no actions taken yet. But i am going to start on an action. Its kinda a start for me. Hopefully everything runs well. I do wanna change my life. Be it for the better or good i already know. But rest assured i know what i am doing. I hope my good friends would think any worst of me as people change and i hope they respect me like i have respected them always.

This few weeks i cant seem to find the time to do things that i have plan. I always end up wasting the time i was suppose to do something either sleepin or on the net doing nothing or listenin to music and just lock myself up in the room doing i duno what. I have to admit tho, my life revolves around the net as that my main source of connections to my friends and thats where i would waste my time. And waste my time i do, did it pretty well too! Damnz againz!

Oh ya, I kinda set on continuing my studies next yr. In SIM doing... Thats gonna be a secret for those who dunno. Not a very common subject. In fact most would not qualify. Kekeke.. I'm not VERY sure if its the correct choice but i'm going with my feelings. Anyway no worries cos i do have the intention to be in that line of studies i've chosen.

I guess that's all i have to update for now. I do have some surprises for some of you but i shall not update it now. I'm gonna wait till all has been executed then maybe i shall reveal some la. LOL Good nite all and may life cont to be the best it could be fer all of ya! Toodles!

:D

2007-04-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

amaciams gua punya braders!

gua nak tido.. tapi rasa takleh tido.. tak comfy ar.. jadi gua bangun.. gua gi mandi air panas.. gua mandi hadas.. gua gi smayang isyak... acam baik tak gua? hahah gua ni pun dah lama lemaks... badan sampai berlemak pun!

haiz.. besok keja.. malas nak gi keja laks.. apa peh nasib... takda keja susah.. ada keja susah... boring la hidup kadang2.. sebenarnya aku nak bual apa pun aku tak tau! aku cuma type type ajeks...

gua pikir2 alik kiri kanan atas bawah.. gua tak tau la apa masalah ngan hidup gua.. nak kata tak bagus.. cukup sempurna.. nak cakap bagus ada aje yg tak kena.. kenapa eh? korang ada apa apa sebab tak?

gua nye schedule hari2 sama.. keja pagi pastu balik mlm gi simpang mkn atau lepaks jap pastu balik umah main comp pastu tido.. besoknya bagun tengahari mkn lunch gi tido gi keja mlm.. habis keja kul 9pagi gi mkn bfast kadang2 main bola pastu balik computer skejab pastu tido.. bangun tido tak tau buat apa.. ada nasib ngok movie atau chill kat luar dengan sapa tah aku tak tau... balik chill compt jap tido lagiks besok second off.. bangun pagi tak tau nak buat apa samapai mlm.. kalau ada plan nasib lah tu.. takda merempit kat umah aku nye bilik ni pastu sampai mlm.. try siap kan uniform pastu tido... pastu repeat lah kehidupan ku..

fuhh leh aku summarise hidup ku dengan satu paragraph.. bleh tahan tak aku? nak cakap stress aku takda stress yg rabaks sangat... nak cakap takda duit.. keja ada duit ada tapi slalu hilang ke mana... kalo korang baca itu paragraph kat atas korang rasa apa problem dia? nak kata mesti ada hobi.. hobi apa nak? nak kata kena ada gal.. muka ni sapa la nak... masalah masalah masalah.. tak habis2 la kat dunia ni.. dunia duniawi ni.. arghh... dah la.. aku end kat sini.. gi try tido lagi baeks.. ciao romano! toodles~!

Umm..

2007-03-26T22:04:00.000+08:00

My life...

Its governed by the fiery fire i have inside me
Fiery fire of desires that emulates
A spark that ends in engulfing the whole forest

Funnily enuff
It feels like its getting bigger by the day
But yet an unfathomable situation occurs

As if an invisible fire has been burnin
Without any consequence
The usual suspects comes to mind.

Thank you... If you dun understand its ok.. Not meant to be understood really.. Just appreciated..

I'm still here..

2007-03-04T03:53:00.000+08:00

Yeah I'm still here folks. Dun worry. Jus tot i wana keep off the blog awhile. Lifes been crazily i dunno how to describe. Its been a blast. Yeah my life has been a blast. Everything is everywhere. Slowly picking up the pieces. Take ya all.. Peace out.. Toodles~

Its not time yet... But when???

2007-02-07T00:19:00.000+08:00

Song Artist: Indecent Obsession
Song Title: Fixing A Broken Heart(Duet Version)

Listening to this old song, brings back memories and thoughts. Suddenly flashbacks, all things past and present seem to come to mind. Fail to plan and you are planing to fail. True enough, with all the wisdom i had gathered, it was like going through an insurmountable task. Things was everywhere. Nowhere near the perfection i had hoped for. It was my own doing i told myself.

And the song repeats itselfs...

I am inadequate. Inadequate in every term possible to go through life, period. I'm looking and heading to a path that i once disgusted. Now i understood, things are never as simple as we might want it to be. Its taken a lot of my will and guts to go through what i'm going through now. A brave front i'm putting up indeed. Just like any secure website, its only a matter of time when my defences are penetrated.

The song repeats itself again...

Damage control, was not on my priority list. In fact nothing is. Living a life without drive is something i want no one to fall into. It feels like you are trapped in a car that the engine wont start, try as you might. It eats up your patience. And one day, one fine day, it will, will break you, or kill.

Life is not life without obstacles... Thank you.. Toodles..

Life aint good...

2007-02-03T00:56:00.000+08:00

I dunno why, i feel that i have a troubled life. From the outside i seem ok of cos. But i know myself. I'm not at ease with what is happening right now. Suddenly i miss my TRACOM days. It was much better. Sigh, i know looking to the past aint really a healthy thing but at times you seek solace from your past.

I guess at times we all seek solace in somthing. For me , most of the time i suppose i will look to the past and remember the good times. For i do not see or tend to not see the good times i can have ahead. I hate my job PERIOD. I want to have a change of environment. I jus cannot stand it anymore.

Sighz..

Toodles..

Death of a Nice Guy By: Azrael

2007-01-29T01:10:00.000+08:00

Women are always saying how they want a nice guy…someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.Bullshit.Next time I hear that from a woman, I will say exactly that. Bullshit. Because you don't want the nice guys. Sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. But the truth is - you want the jerks. You want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. You want the guys who don't call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they're committed to you. You want the ones who don't talk to you, don't open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) If you do find a nice guy, you make sure he's unattainable. He has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he doesn't want a relationship at all. Basically, you want what you can't have.You know how I know this? I used to be a nice guy. Yeah, I'm the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. I listen to your problems, I offer advice. Like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, I'm always there to back you up. I tell you how pretty you are. I tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. You say thanks, briefly, and then continue to rant about Jerk #2873.I tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there's always that "but…". Then you call me up at 1 in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it's made you. You make excuses for why he's been ignoring you. You make more plans to change him. "If." And, do you know what the worst part is? This is the guy you're attracted to. This is the guy you're willing to get physical with. This is the guy you're willing to lose your virginity to. You make a big deal about how you're not a slut, and you won't just kiss any guy. But you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. Or you want to. Or, you already have.No, you don't want a nice guy. And don't give me that bullshit about "a good man is hard to find." There are millions of them out there. Probably hundreds around where you live. And I'm willing to bet you know a few. You know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? The one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? Is always willing to drop whatever he's doing to satisfy your needs?What about him? No, of course not him. He's not enough of a jerk for you.And the worst part? You don't want him now…but you will. When you get older, oh, say 30, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can't play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. Wait, I take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. We've been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we're all too happy to get it. We're nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you've been giving us for 15 years.I used to be a nice guy. Fuck that. I took the phone calls, I dished out the compliments, I listened, I gave so much advice, shit, I should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. I used to be a nice guy, and I figured that I didn't need to actively look for a girl - that if I just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. I thought that I would make for an ideal partner, I'd open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.I used to be a nice guy. What did that get me? 21 years of my right hand and softcore porn on Showtime. So, fuck it. Fuck it entirely. I'm not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. Next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn't called in a week, I'm just going to smile at you and say "Ok." In fact, maybe, I'll tell you to call him. Better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. Save us all some time. I feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.And I like that.

I posted this before and i still agree with at least 90% of it. Too bad the authors no longer own the webbie. Read it and read it well. Arent you all the bastards that he mentioned? Are u not? No No before you deny it, read!!! READ!!! READ u damn bloody assss!!!!! READ IT FUCKINGLY WELLL!!! FACE THE BLOODY FUCKING WALL AND THINK ABOUT IT. See what i mean? There is some truth right? Unless you don admit to it one bit, I'd rather not you come back. Yeah I'm a loser... SCREW YOU!!

life

2007-01-24T20:07:00.000+08:00

life

u help ppl, they say thanks, they leave
u dun help ppl, they curse u, and rem for life,
u work hard, made mistakes, condemmed for life,
u dun work hard, meet and say the right ppl and things u win,
u dun show results, ur considered losers...

FUCK THIS FUCKIN LIFE THEORIES!

NEW!

2007-01-21T17:51:00.000+08:00

Its a new year and things gotta change and thus my layout. Green is nice, pleasant to look at and hopefully will my blog. I removed my "About Me" cos the pics webbie is down for quite some time now. Headings have been changed but still understoodable i suppose. Links to blogs have been slimmed down. Those i do not see a need to be there have been removed.

I really wouldnt mind if blogger had a paid service to begin with. Their new GUI interface for moddin blog rox. Makes modifying blogs a breeze i tell ya. If not then maybe i'll just get a domain name again. Still in the works.

BTW a Happy New Year to all Muslims. Hopefully it would be a better year ahead for all of us. I'm gonna bathe now and play pool later with that Naser of mine. I wished i'll play badly for his sake. Really bro, i dun wanna hurt u. LOL. K B4 anithing happen i declare i'm not good in pool. Jus okok la.

Its been quite some time since i got a good inspiration to blog about. Hopefully tonite i might. Hope i have loads of them. But jus hope.. Sigh... Take care all.. Toodles..

Samson - Kenangan Terindah

2007-01-04T15:03:00.000+08:00

Its funny how i can read people's mind. I know that my previous entry would get some "unwanted" response from my friends. But i still chose to pen it down the way i did. What i pen down here is what i feel at that the point of bloggin per se.

Indeed some of the entry is to get some kind of response from certain people but definitely not sympathy. Please if I had wanted to get sympathy I am more then capable to type something more sympathetic then what i did.

Lastly, i HATE when people discuss what i blog when they meet me in reality. Please, one of the reasons why i blog is to let off steam. And once that is done. To me, the entry is dead and serve no more purpose then just to remind me that i went thru such an event in my life. Its because of these "unwanted" response that i feel that bloggin anonymously is still the best. Or maybe i should proceed with a list of users that can view my "sensitive" or "close to heart" issued. Yeah i guess i will. Oh yah i deleted my previous entry just to save me the agony of explaining to people what i want to achieve by bloggin what i did. Sheesh

Toodles all...

Searching..

2006-12-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

I went on a search for something that i was unsure what. I kept asking myself what is it that i wanted to search for? And i ponder. I guessed I pondered for quite some time. I listened to my heart and rationalised with my brains but it came to naught. I used my brains but it aint feelin right. What was it?

It felt like something i had wanted all my life. Something that would make me at peace with myself. Something that would make me comfortable. Something i can be myself with. Something that would motivate me. Something that would take me through my daily work. But what was it?

This was unprecedented when this entry was first written... But i needed the rest... Till then I'm on hiatus... again... Toodles~

2006-12-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

We had our soccer match today. The third time within our own colleagues. Its a mini inter team tournament. We lost again. Third time losing. Thats sad. Even tho we lost of a bloody stupid mistake but fact is we lost. Oh well. Maybe all the teams i play with i bring my bad luck or something. LOL

Also i tweaked my background a lil cos i found if a lil bland. I dunno why but i love to play with greys black and whites. Which reminds me of bond's car. Cool aston martin! Only in my dreams i get to play with it. Budden again i seldom dream. Grr...

Tml werking morning shift. Boring. No mood to work nowadays. Sian man. So many things to do. Wonder what can i do with the so many free time i have during doin some deployment. I cant seem to use my time well. Guess i sucked at time management BIG time. Oh well..

Actually i feel like bloggin but i do not know what to type. Inspirations dun come often nowadays to me. Wonder what i did to chase it away.. Sighz..

My fat gettin fatter as usual. Body aching all over. Guess i wanna go to a massage ar. I'll ask my "spark" friend la someday to bring me to a good place we can go massage. Think i'll massage him now. Hehe.. Ok done!

I wanna get the O2 Stealth la. I know u jus bought this new phone. But ever since they have these free wireless service at ard 600 places. Muahhaa seems kinda cool u know. Keke.. But O2 Stealth blardy ex so i suppose either i wait for price to fall or jus cont using this new phone which is not that bad actually.

Waiting for pay day to come. Again as usual i dunno where my money ran away to. Damn! K la dats about it. Toodles~

All i wanna do is make love to you...

2006-11-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up along side and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while
I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain
Fate tell me it's right, is this love at first sight
Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night
All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will you want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to

So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well
We made magic that night. Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily
And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note
I told him I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to

Oh, oooh, we made love
Love like strangers
All night long
We made love

Then it happened one day, we came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes
I said please, please understand
I'm in love with another man
And what he couldn't give me
was the one little thing that you can

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I want to do is make love to you
Come on, say you will, you want me too

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I want to do is make love to you
Say you will, you want me too

All night long ...

Theres a hidden story behind this song i believe.. But i'm not sure what... tho.. O well.. Nights all.. Toodles~

Whats up blog..

2006-11-22T20:21:00.000+08:00

Yeah forgive me for my ramblings in the previous entry. Jus needed to let off some steam. Anyway thanks for the concern...if any. Haha

Nothing much to blog about really. But i jus felt that i should type something cos at least it'll kill some boredom. Hari raya jus over. Jus to inform u guys time and again. Hari raya is not our new year but a celebration for our one month of fasting. Also technically Hari raya is only one day and not 30days. Its just that we sometime take that long to visit our friends and relatives so yeah.

Hari raya i din visit any friends house really. Seems like it doesnt have a meaning for me sometime. Oh well maybe certain factors would contribute to it. I shall not mentioned the factors tho. I had actually wanted to go out tonight but thanks to my limited toot i cant find any suitable place. Yeah yeah i heard u critics. Thanks ar! haha

Tomorrow i'm working but dun think i'll sleep early tonight cos if all goes well i should be meeting my frn and playing some pool. Cant wait to be beaten! Yeah naser i heard u... Luff quieter next time! Hehe.

Its been some time since i heard from that mousie. Wonder what he's up to this time. His hp line has been cutted(i know theres no such word.. tangs!) Maybe later i'll ask that religious teacher turned mat moto for his house number and jus check up on him.

For the first time in awhile my uniform is all ready for work next day and its not some last min thinggie. It was also partly cos of the meet up that was not meant to be. Grrr still feeling irritated by it. Sheesh.

Anyway i bought anew street soccer shoe a new phone(for those who duno yet) and also a new jacket. Hehe Courtesy of my organization ;) Bonus is coming.. Thought of gettin some new dry fit tshirt, sandals umm jeans too.. Lemme see what else eh.... Oh yah think i gottta prioritise the demolition of my biggest cupboard first and then we'll talk bout the misc stuffs. I jus cant stand this stupid cupboard of mine. Such a waste of space and thanks to it i put off buying my long long very the long awaited table! Grrr... Wanna make my room some kind of haven from lifes shitties if u know what i mean.

My plan would be to demolish the stupid cupboard(cant help it but it feels good calling the cupboard stupid hehe) sorry cupboard jus cant help it!! After which i think im gonna install another built in cupboard of much a smaller size, prefably some metallic looking ones?? Yeah that shall act as a storeroom. Yeah my house no store room and so for all the house extras its kept in my room. So yeah now u know why i wanna destroy the stupid toot. But i got one tiny prob. My other two sisters clothin where to put siak! Well they could buy another big cupboard and put it in THEIR room. Yes THEIR room and not mine. Never pay rental for the space in my room still mess up my room. Mangkok! Or if i have enough cash i shall make another built in cupboard for them in their room too? Ummm but i highly doubt it la. I dun even know if i shall execute the demolition of my cupboard. Keke.. yeah so much for the talk right. Well i see how la. Any idea how much it would be to put in a built in cupboard guys/girls?? size abt 2m by 1m?? anythign jus comment me la.

K la.. tired la type.. got time i type some. toodles~

haiz

2006-11-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

i feel so unresourceful.. sorry to ramble in here blog... ur the oni plce i can ramble sometimes... i feel so F up.. arghh F it la.. im outta here.. period...

I'm in... I'm out...

2006-11-11T00:47:00.000+08:00

Nice title eh? I tot so too... LOLZ... Anyway past few days tot me something. First my situation.. Past few days im left with ard 16bucks at most?? So i budget like mad la. Standard!

I know some of u might say.. wtf did i do with my money? Well all i can say in my defence is that when u start working and everything is from ur own pocket, then u will learn. ;)

What i've learnt? There are alot of things that im doing currenly which is a luxury. So after this incident i've become more discipline with my money. Also arising from this i'm more determined of my goals that i've set previously. Hope its gonan got thru by this year with many2 lucks from u guys and girls.

K i gtg now. Tml working. TOodles...

Yo..

2006-10-27T14:38:00.000+08:00

Hey hey wassup ladies and gentleman? For the Muslims, wished you're enjoying the raya and may the Ramadhan be accepted by Allah insyaAllah. For the non-muslims hope the public holiday kinda make the weekend nearer cos you get to "off" one day :)

Its been 5 days since i last blogged but i felt that it should be at least around 1 or 1.5 weeks. Umm maybe i missed my blog. Anyway since i last blogged.. this is what happened...

I spend my "malam raya" or eve of raya alone at Changkat NPP as i was working. Its in my nature that i do not like to trouble people and so i din call anyone to buy me food, stubborn maybe but that's just me. And so my last "buka" or break fast was 2 big packets of Jack and Jill potato chips(salsa and the sweet dream onion flavour) and a bottle of blue flavoured isotonic drink which was later commented by a colleague "like a detergent". I din realise it until then and i kinda agreed cos the taste well its not favourable. Haha. Also i din manage to eat the two packets. Only ate the salsa flavoured one and the other packet i donated to my NPC. I felt sick, and upon reaching home i KO.

On Hari Raya itself, I din go for the morning prayers. Its been quite some years since i last did!! I KO until next morning almost 10am or something. After which i had my breakfast. Eating the ketupat that i made(yes i know how to make em) and dishes mummy cooked makes me feel its Raya time! LOlz.. This year my house is pretty budgetly decorated. Nothin fanciful really. After that we got ready to visit the "Ustaz"(religious teacher) and grandma's house. This year my family theme is rainbow so yeah whole family wearing different colours. Din manage to take the whole family pic tho. Went visiting after that..

This year i'm wearing purple. Nice bright purple color altho its the "jubah" (long dress) kind. After visiting grandma's place decided to hang out with my cuzzies. Pretty cool, its been quite some years since we last chit chatted on a personal level. The topic was pretty controversial and serious and yeah we din get to a concluded end really. We took the train to PS and hang out at Mac. Was thinkin how nice if we had i had a vehicle. Oh well maybe next year maybe? Haha Kiddin i dun suppose so la. >.<

Second day raya din go out. I jus waited at home most of the day. And at night my uncle came to my place so yeah entertain him and then KO cos next day working. Yesterday working day. Did Romeo with T05XXX series. I cant say it was tiring and i cant say it wasnt. Average i suppose. 6 messages and even one in Bedok Nth area.

Tonight working again. I think after all these years, my tummy has gone weak. Certain food i eat will cause me to have tummy aches. But thing is i dunno which is it. I used to whack all the food and nothing would happen but now.. more of these problems coming up. Maybe i should watch i eat nowadays. My mom asks me to buy "julap" to make me shit but i dunno wtf issit. Haha. Cos when i feel like shitting and when i reach to the toilet it jus aint coming out. Grrr... Notty2 shit. LOL. Okies enough of my shitting thinggie. Guys and ladies enjoy the raya and Happy weekends!!! Enjoy da weekend while it lasts.

Oh yah before i forgot. Welcome back "blearh" and su from your trip. Hope it was a good one.

Toodles~

:(

2006-10-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

haiz.. tinggal aku keseorangan... sayang aku tak reply2 msg.. members nak gi rilek dlm bilik.. apa ada dlm bilik kau tu pun aku tak tau... tak leh harapla kau cheetah... tengah dengar lagu jiwang.. lagi sakit hati aku.. aku rasa betol lah aku ckp tu zal.. aku tak jaga hati pompuan la.. tapi tak guna sangat ke aku ni? ia ke? did i hear someone say yes? meh sini bagi aku perambat kau skit!! ahhh tau pun takut! kepala mango tol... sudah lah.. lagi aku memikirkan tentang perasaan ini lagi aku tak leh tido... haiz.. dah lah hari ni aku buka sorang.. adik aku satu buka luar lagi satu tak puasa kakak aku pun tak puasa.. aku sorang buka ngan satu kurma satu gelas air rose sirup dengan 4 cookie... tu aja ar.. haiz... mak bapak aku gi msia.. aku pun malas nak turun beli mkn jadi gini lah nasib aku... betol betol nasib biskot...

Mendengar suara mu dan melihat senyuman mu
Membuat ku tersenyum dengan kegembiraan
Tetapi sayang... Aku menjadi bodoh dan melukakan hati mu yang pernah dilukai sebelum ini.
Meminta maaf sudah berkali-kali tetapi tetap aku membuatnya
Hanya satu sahaja yang boleh aku meluahkan dari bibir ku
Aku adalah aku.... Manusia yang penuh dengan kelemahan...

Selamat malam...

I always land myself in such situations.

2006-10-21T19:04:00.000+08:00

I dunno what i was thinkin... I should have not think like that. I guess i just needed the assurance which i do not think i deserve. Taking into account the status of the situation, who am i to expect such assurances. I cannot and do not know what else to say but.. I'm sorry.. :(

I'm changing..

2006-10-21T14:08:00.000+08:00

Hey there.. Jus to inform you guys... I'm gonna change to the beta version of Blogger.. So if there is soem cock up in the bloggie please dun mind... Toodles~

Oh dear~

2006-10-17T08:18:00.000+08:00

I was jus reading some blog online and soem forums too. I jus realised how poor a command of english i have. I mean yeah of cos i know what they were talking about but loads of the words i cant really ummm explain. Let me give and example. The word advocate. If you were to ask me all i know about the word is something like to advocate something means to promote something or something like that la. KNS! Poor england i have. Guess its time to read some books and hit those thick books called DICTIONARY and brush up on my england. Sad. LOL~ Toodles~

Hari raya~

2006-10-17T07:04:00.000+08:00

Hey there all!! Hari raya is round the corner. In less then 1 week Muslims all over the world will be celebrating Hari Raya. :D

For myself, hari raya preparations haven even started. I haven buy anything for myself for this hari raya. Finance is tight so i'll be very budget. For my baju kurung(malay traditonal clothes) i'll be asking my mom to buy(jus like previous years) I jus cant be bothered to walk around and buy on my own la. Shoes i'll be using my shoe which was meant to be used for OPS. Its a smart shoe so no worries. Maybe i'll jus get a new pair of socks. Maybe a few la. Other then that i'm planning to use previous years baju kurung top with and old brand new pants that i have. Yup its an old pants but its brand new. The tag is still there. So thats all for my hari raya planning. :D

Yesterday after break fast i went to Tampines mall to buy an FX brand pouch. Its an old design la but its kinda nice and it comes with a strap which i can strap around my waist. I also bought a card size coin pouch which i plan to use it as wallet when i go to work. Because you see if i put my wallet at the back of my working pants firstly it looks ugly on me and secondly its not as comfortable sitting inside with the wallet at the back then not having anything at the back. As it is the equipment i'm carrying is bad enough la.

I am having this scheme where i can claim up to 200bucks on things that i buy(of cos there are categories which i can buyfrom) I asked around and i was told that the offer was until end of the year. So i'll make no haste in buying. At first i wanted to buy a new study table(as i planned to study some time next year) but my old computer is still good so i cant throw it away and putting it outside without a computer makes it look ugly and raya is coming so thats not such a good option. I guess i'll make a pair of sunglasses(nice branded ones like oakley or Police or some other nice brands) But that shall earliest be next pay day lar.

I had wanted to get a new handphone but after my dear frn said "kan hp kau masih bagus" i decided not to get my new handphone. Grrr i was already at the bus stop when i dunno why the wise words of my frns keep ringin in my head and so i decided to put off buying for now. Oh yah yesterday i saw this nice mp3 player with built in speaker at Hardwarezone.com. Its a new one by Samsung. Really look nice and sleek and seems like what i wanted. But its a tad big but then again its with speakers so what can i expect right? And it seems that it gonna come out around Christmas period!!! Ummmm.... End of year bonus... Christmas... Perfect! LOL!!

i guess i should play around with my camera this few days. Cos i plan to take photos for hari raya and develop them and frame em. Yup yup. Thats jus an idea i had so far back then and only now i feel like doing it again. Lets see if this time it will be fulfilled. Haha.. K la.. Thats about it.. Till then.. Toodles~

??? :) ???

2006-10-14T06:04:00.000+08:00

Are things turnin for the better? Or what i ever wanted is slowly coming true? At the expense of evil and myself? It felt good. Wordly desirably good. But its evil. But aint evil things always nice and makes one feel they can do anything?????? Questions questions questions... I must interfere before things get out of hand. My hand. Quite small too. Its time to work. Work at it. My life, my mental, my spiritual and my physical. For the betterment. And so i have always thought. Toodles~

Hey ho~

2006-10-08T22:24:00.000+08:00

Heylo there guys and girls~

Its been quite some time since i blogged huh. Lemme see... basically i got nothin much to blog about thats why i din blog for the longest time(at least it felt like that) Fasting is almost halfway done. Oh ya my money is almost dry. Must be the haze.. umm damn! LOL

I took two days off from work just to clear the extra hours that i have. Din went out much cos i din have the cash to do so. An inevitable thought came to mind. Where am i heading in this life of mine. When will i reach the goals i have set for myself ages ago. It seems eons since i last blog on this topic. And funnily enuff every single time i blog about it and i think back.. well theres nothing changin for me now. Work is still the same and its much better then i first started. Yeah much much better. People i dun really fancy slowly but i hope, surely leaving from my workplace. Its a relieve. Another of my colleague bought a car. Wow people my line sure seem like they are earning alot huh? Well i dunno i still got a long time to go and i have other things that i have in mind other then cars. Its really tempting you know but for the better good i think i better not. Another of my ex-colleague has already left the force. Which makes me think will i be like him? After finishing my bond i will jus FO from the force. Ummm choices are still open. Right now i'm pending on what degree should i take. I'd like to take something which applies to my job right now. But i'm afraid that half way or when i finish the course i dun really like to stay. Would the degree then be something that i can use? The degree seem made for the civil service and even to hotel industry(dunno how true is that la) But yeah the school has been advertised before in the TV and even TODAY newspapers. I still have yet to confirm with my working place whether it is still accredited or not la. Also i might be looking towards SAF after that degree. But i first have to finish the degree first la. Ummm.. think i know what to do next. Any brilliant ideas on gettin a good and stable paying job you guys and girls can message me aight. wanna take a shower cos my colleague with his new vios is comin to fetch me. :D See you guys later on. Chillz!

pure

2006-09-22T00:35:00.000+08:00

This world is not pure anymore. Nothing of the heart's desire can be achieved without any incentives. Water is not pure anymore, love is not pure anymore(altho i would really beg to contradict myself.. sighz), life is not pure anymore. None in this world i tell you is pure.

Everything that people do nowadays now have an ulterior motive. People no longer use cars and bikes as transport alone. Computers are no longer used as a tool to help people work anymore. Reports are made at the whack and whim of irresponsible people whom keep using the same excuses. Handphones are no longer used only to call people.

Innovation, creativity and initiatives you might say. To me they are all the same. The life we live now are based on profits or what i call "what can i get back in return?" Love is no longer the i love u love me and we get married happily ever after. Water mixed with chemical to cleanse the dirt and what not. Life is not about living the way we want it but the way people want us to live or circumstances seemed to make me say that.

Its not really difficult to realise. Jus ask yourself what are you studying for? Jus because you wanna learn? Parents ask u too? U know learning is the only way out of poverty(altho singaporean dun really know what poverty means) See most of us learn not because we want to learn and gain knowledge. We learn because we want to rise to higer grounds in our work. We learn because our peers all have got their degree. We learn because of the pressure of parents and life. Its no use whining and some of you would ask me to get a life and i really wished too. But the life that i wanna get aint that easy to get. Not at least in this tiny red dot. Like i always say..

Lifes sucks! Whats new? Off to bed i am~ Toodles~

Qi hua~(Chrysanthemum Tea)

2006-09-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

I have been having my regular Qi Hua session with my long time never meet friend Shasi. I used to have my qi hua session with another friend Harith at simei but since he left for brunei for his NS i found another frn to have my qi hua session. The last time i hang out with him was near my house as he lived opposite for me. But since he moved to bedok north well i had to go to interchange to catch up with him. It was basically a talk cock session with him at macdonald as we criticise every human that walks into the macdonald.

I really should be sleeping by now as i need to wake up at 6am to go for my imf duties but being me, i jus had to stay up late. I'm so lazy for the duty. But what can i do cos its part of my job even tho its not explicitly stated. 1 day down for me. 6 more to go. Suddenly this 6 days seems like eternal to me. Damn.

My pay jus came in together with my marksman. For now i'm rich! yay! come the day i pay my bills and all then i will know how rich i can be. i've got no mood to blog. totally not in the right state of mind to blog. my mind is not free. i need a break.if no one wanan go with me then i suppose i'll jus go by myself! grr... haiz

im tired. very tired. k i gotta stop typn and do work and slp. toodles

Haizz..

2006-08-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

I dun recall when was the last time i used Haizz as a title for my blog(or maybe im jus forgetful) but i think i wanna make Haizz a title when used would show that i am totally feeling disappointed with the things thats happening and not happennin in my life.

Things haven been really great for me these past few months. Jus about a few weeks back i got this bad influenza in which i spent 70bucks on med plus some other "ailments" Now Im having these stomach pains. And my tummy seems like bloated. I mean its already "bloated" with fats but this time i feel its bloated with air and i keep burping with lots of air coming out. I've been having watery bowels for the past few days. I'm gettting worried that something might be happenin to me and i don't know. Haizz..

I'm in no mood to blog really. Feeling sick and my uniform aint ready and my deployment for IMF/WB sucks big time and work wise i got 1 2 files way way outdated. I'm tired.. so tired of living.. I need a break pretty soon and the leave freeze doest help one bit. Arghhh F it.. Im outta here.. TooTdles!

eh oh~

2006-08-19T02:10:00.000+08:00

Hi there all.. I know its been quite some time since i last blogged. Been busy and lazy. :x Been quite an interesting weeks it was i suppose.

The latest was my squad gathering. Yeah It marks two years since we know each other. Seems like they've been fine, very fine. Heard some news, good and bad. Good news is that some are staying and bad news is well some have already intended to leave. I might jus be emotional but i'm sad that they gonna leave the force. It took some pains to jus be in it right from the selection process and then the training which really i would say was the best time in my life. I jus cannot reiterate how much i love that part of my life. Then the probation period which i'm sure some of us find it F up, and i'm one of them that think its so. 2 years down the road, we have well i suppose become more matured. During the gatherin i felt quite "lost touch" with some of them but yet i can still feel that we r kinda close. I suppose 6 months plus in there did have some impact on my and my fellow squadmates.

Another highlight was that one of my squadmate proposed to another squadmate of mine(coincidentally that girl is my team mate too) It was kinda cool that well he chose to propose with us. Cool, very very cool. And yes did i mentioned he proposed to her at Seoul Garden where we had our urmm dinner. We kinda team up with the ppl working there to have the lights off and music and thinggie. I wish u all the best yeah. Its not everyday that a squadmate marries a squadmate. Cheerios..

Also on the same night i was infd that my ex(one of my squadmates) urmmm... ex-almost-to-be-gf(can i even call dat? i wonder) had used my name to break up with her bf. It wasn't the best of situation i was in but i manage keep my cool. In fact i wasn't angry one bit cos i dun see a reason to be. Weird i know. So the next day i decided to "confront" her but in the end another kind of story was revealed. Jus like my work. Words against words Oh dear. I'll jus let it be then i suppose. I aint too concerned about it and truth be told i tink i give a damn not. Cos so far my life has been normal until then so yeah i suppose a lil spice would kind of spice up my life~

Other then that i can't wait for the IMF to start. I really dunno why im saying but yeah. Jus cant wait for it to start and get over it ASAP. Too much hyped and things to be done when a meeting of this nature for my line of work.

Right now i'm waiting for my uniform to be washed and then iron it and then lights off for me. :D

On a not so separate note, my life is as usual. Nothing interesting despite what was written on top. Days pass on and on. Second by seconds hrs by hrs days by day it jus moves. It feels like i'm jus waiting for death which i dunno why feels like its gonna bery bery far away.

As i move on with my life i do not know which direction to move. I jus move with the wind. Where it blows there is where i'll probably find myself at. This problem has been with me for the longest time. Career wise its not that wonderful. Yeah i got a good paying job but not quite where i wanted myself to be in. Other aspects are all the same la. Not quite how i'd like it to be or not there at all. I feel that i need this one motivation in life to kickstart my otherwise mundane life to something better, much better. Its like finding the meaning in life. I find no meaning in life. Haiz a real big problem i tell you. Wonder when i can say i'm satisfied with my life. Rather if i can even say im quite satisfied with my life would be a big difference.

Friends of mine are worried about finding job whereas me findin meaning of life. Not so much of meaning of life. its like living life for something. Living a worthy life. Ummm.... Haiz... Time to sleep soon. Toodles....

aku bingit

2006-08-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

bingit aku... aku bingit nak mampos.. bingit ada lahn aku.. aku adala bingit. kimekkkK!!! boring nak mapos samapai dah mampos dah gaknya siak! arghhh!!

Change is a necessity.

2006-07-26T02:45:00.000+08:00

And so the movies tell me. But maybe Change is too big a word for me. And maybe Change is too tough for me. I think Enhance is the new word i'll use.

Enhance... ummm there are alot about me that i need and want to enhance. Some possible some a little difficult while the rest is arguably impossible. What you ask i'd like to enhance? Well i could start with enhancing myself. That alone is well big enough for me and could possibly hook me up to the arguably impossible realm. But if i were to smash it into pieces. It becoms a lilttle difficult and if i take it one at a time then it becomes possible. Ahh now i know how to go about it. Time to put action to words. And that is kinda the arguably impossible realm. Damn. Nevertheless i'll try. Impossible is nothing Adidas says. And i suppose a billionaire words does hold some water wont u agree my frns?

The more i see super fours on the road the more i think of my good frn zal. Haha we've been friends for the longest time ever. Few can match number of yrs we've known each other. We can tok and say to each other ten yrs ago we would bla bla bla... Kinda cool really. Hope the frnship goes strong and i doubt it'll wither. I wont say i'm jealous of his luck cos that would sound sore. I'd say i envy his luck. It goes to show that having money doesnt mean u get what u want. He wants a super four and he got it. No doubt its second hand and an older version but its still a bike. No doubt he's not working but he still got it. Rich? no he isn't and i can swear by that really. But well i suppose he got the luck.. or maybe not luck cos losing one loved ones don really categorise into having luck. But thats the path he was meant to walk and he has bravely moved on. Kudos to him. Its time for me to follow the example set by him. Soon zal soon. I feel the urge slowly creeping to me. Ahakz!

Apart from the two above theres one more enhancing to be done. And that is to my life environment. That would fall into arguably impossible realm. Cos i cant really control the factors affecting my life. But what i can do is to influence it so that it'll be more conducive for me. I'll try i would say. Working environment and personal environment. Two main enhancement to be done. Kudos to me for putting it to words. Now to put it to "pen and paper"

What made me type this in the middle of the night? well a thought came to me. I know what i shold do. I know how to do it(more or less i suppose) So why wont i jus do it and see what the results speaks? Easy? Yeah seems easy but it'll take effort. I know naser would say this entry is more or less the same as the rest of my entries. All plan and no effort and thus no result. Well i'l be proud to say that i actually have ONE of it going for me. Well one is jus one. No big deal you say? Ahak! Thats where ur wrong(or so i suppose) That might jus be the catalyst for me. Oh yeah baby. Wait till the results speaks and then he'll know i mean business. But then again its such a tiny outcome that most ppl would think nothing of it. Well who cares what other ppl think. They wont give me 3k to buy my new comp or lappie so heck with them!

I'll try baby yeah i'll try. And when i made it the result will ooh so sweet~ I cant help but jus think that my time in TRACOM is one of the better time. NPCC time is great and i had a ball of a time. Poly was a trying time. TRACOM was a proving time. It proved some things to me.All in all the growing yrs of mine has been rather fruitful and maturedful to me. I know theres no such word btw. I've seen friends of mine who is not open minded enough and thus i think their thinkin is well kinda shallow. But i cant do much really. I could try to advice but i may jus get rebutted. I means its like who the heck am i to advise them when my life is well seems like worst to them in certain aspects. True i would say but having an extra point of view is never harmful in anyway. Makes us think more.

Time for me to think more for myself and put action to my words of wisdom. Right~! Hey im the one writing this blog. If u don agree u can go write urs anyway u want. I give a damn not. Difficult difficult i tell myself, but never impossible at the back of my head and always confidently affirmative in my heart. Time to sleep. Gotta save the world tomorrow~ Toodles~

2006-07-14T00:55:00.000+08:00

Alone in my room I took a sniff at my cigar and enjoying its aroma. I slowly snip off the tip and reached out for my lighter to light it up. As i sip some red wine and enjoying the taste that lingers in my mouth I begin to wonder...

Why would my idol in international soccer had to do such a thing? Was it really true that he had snapped and it was the verbal abuse that made him do such a disgusting act? Or was he banking on his past reputation to help him win a moment of folly? I really wished, in irony, that it is the former. Like i once said, he had an illustrious career in soccer and its sad to end it this way. But to his defence i would say he is after all a human being with limits and it was apparent in this case that it exceeded it. To the rest of the neutrals and critics all i can is,and end this issue on my blog, to err is human to forgive divine.

Why is there such a creature on this face of the earth that could be the love of your life on one end and a notch below the devil at the other. An experience that i went thru altho the latter part could be not very true, but if it is then its true what they say. They are unfathomable. Most of you would be confused(like my cuzzie siti) but i wonder and still wondering why or what ingredients was or were involved to make this creature act in the way it was acted.

They say the person herself/himself is the best judge of their abilities. But how was it that I am not able too. The harder the more i tried, it jus gets worst and i am left with the only way out to surrender to my inability. Handicapped i feel, but i will try another time. They say perseverance pays off and i hope to prove it to myself.

Money is a tool in life or so they say. It must have been a very critical tool that without it life jus wouldn't be that, life. By the same virtue they argue its not important. And by the same virtue i agree that they are. In fact it is as vital to us more then water is too plants. True we can live without earning any but that would make us parasites of society. And thus my point proven. We do need it. But to what extent? We all know the answer to that question but we refuse to acknowledge. Pity to us i'd say.

As i sipped my last, i extinguished my burning stick of poison and tell myself...

Enough of wondering for tonite.. Wondering can do wonders.. And i wonder...

Nites and sweet dreams to my readers... Toodles...

Well done France...

2006-07-02T05:43:00.000+08:00

Seriously... if they(France) can cont their performance this morning, they really have a good shot at the World Cup. It would be such delight to France and says alot about Zinedine Zidane aka Zizou. And yeah, the gliettering and illustrious Zizou was what we saw this morning. If more were to come from him, its a very good news not only for France but also the Football community.

Sidetrack a little, my frn Mr Wong still owe someone a drink if im not wrong. :p

Anyway, the match this morning really was an inspiration for me. To see my football idol, Zizou, play "bola" He really kick ass man. Yeah! Inspiration for me as i look at it in this way. He has been criticised(correct spellin?) that he was much below expectation and at his age, the Beautiful game was no longer in him. This mornin, he proved his critics wrong, VERY wrong. Even if this game was to be his last display of his soccer prowess, well he did it against a very very strong team; Brasil. And that really says something about him.

And if i could achieve what i've always wanted to, then I too would have shown my "critics" that they are very very wrong. And if i manage to do it then i would have shown the biggest of my critics, myself(ironically), wrong. Very wrong.

Well like the phrase that has been the "in" thing used by my close frns, "Talk is cheap" Indeed it is and action and result speak volumes. I guess thats the only way i have to go to now. I have found the ans to my long time question. In fact i knew it long ago but was well... too "______" to execute it. I left it blank cos i really don't know what adjective to use. Haha

All the best to France and myself. May God show us the way and may he help me with my endeavours... InsyaAllah(With God's will)

Toodles..

Have i done anything wrong?

2006-06-28T01:29:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if i have done anything wrong? Or rumours about me have been spreading? I dunno. And i dont really wanna care. Cos from my conscience point of view, well i did nothing wrong. So be it if there is something going about me. My conscience is clear. Its their loss not to clarify things with me and choose to believe what's been said.

Yeah, looks like mixing with malays(not all tho) really can give me problems. I chose not to before but i gave myself a chance to see whats its like. And along came Mr Proof. Sighz. Such is the irony of life. I really dont like to turn the mode on. But... sighz.. there's always a but huh?

Oh well, problems gives life its spice. Take it in my stride and things will be fine.. It always does... InsyAllah...

Toodles...

World cup

2006-06-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

I recently got a bad experience. And i derive this from it...

Love is like the World Cup; only more terrible. Jus like the world cup, may the best team win and so is love; may the best man win. Very much similarities right? Wait there's more to come from me.

Love is like the World Cup; The team can use any tactics. Brazilian samba, Italian defence or socceroos dirty game. But it doesn't matter cos end of the day, its the win that matters. Much like love, whether ur a two-timing guy, sincere or possesive it doesnt matter if end of the day you get the girl you like. True to a certain extent right? Of cos i don like to give useless hypothesis. But more to come still.

Love is like the World Cup; You can be as sophisticated, bold or plain lazy during the game but like i say, and i say again, if it works for you then by no means you should stop. Jus like love, you can go along in the relationship looking very gentlemanly(like zidane), temperamental(like Ronaldo) or just plain cool and calm(like me.. err i mean like Thuram). What ever ways you use if it works for you then again, by no means should you not continue.

Love is like the World Cup; In the round of 32 you "play" other opponents while your other opponents play their "opponents" and one by one they get eliminated using your wonderful stepovers fakes and stuffs. Next you proceed to round of 16 and knockout round and so on... Jus like soccer, you eliminate your "opponents" with whatever skill you wanna use maybe flowers. chocolates and care and concern. But whatever "skill" u choose if that skill can "kill" your opponent then of cos you should continue!

And lastly in this entry but of cos not the least, Love jus like soccer... Soccer; The Beautiful Game... And Love; The Beautiful Thing..

I can still conjour up some fine similiraties of love with soccer... But theres one thing thats very very different... World Cup comes only once in four years and so are the tackles and penalties.. While love.. well it the "tackles" "penalties" in love don come once in 4 years but at anytime and place... Sheesh... Hope you enjoy my bullshit.. Till i shit again...

Toodles...

An illness

2006-06-19T05:05:00.000+08:00

I'm suffering from an illness that i know is very hard to cure. Its deep within me and has taken effect ever since i left secondary school. Funnily enough that very illness is well my mind's response to life's harsh conditions. You can liken that illness is like antibodies. Kinda contradictory i know but such a person i might be. When ever i try to fight this illness, it still stubbornly keep coming back. Frankly speaking i am not sure i can even cure it. Damn!

Anyway todays France's match against the koreans is something very much humiliating and i think the problems lies with the whole team. Zidane is out of the game i suppose. To think a person of his calibre has to go off and retire from international soccer with a game that was lost. Not justice done to his illustrious carreer. But its the harsh reality of life i suppose. Looking on the bright side, he's got millions of dollars. I would love to have that! ;)

Brazil too haven shown their samba soccer. Make me wonder if they have lost it. Haven seen argentina play. But from what i heard, well i think they're gonna hold the cup this yr if the samba boys continue their not so convincing run on the pitch.

Funnily enough whoever invents the phrase "The ball is round" is well kinda a genius. With whatever odds any bookie or "kangtao" have, i suppose their bet is as good as ours. I mean it is call a bet right? If one is so sure the outcome of the game he wont be betting. He would have well in my words "buy more money" with money. Correct? Of cos they analyse history of soccer players, teams, games etc etc but... The ball is round and anything can happen.

Just like life, our world is round and anything can happen. Being successful now increases the hopes of a good tomorrow but it does not ensure anything. You could die the next moment or jus sleep and never to wake up but is still alive aka coma. Bottomline is to make the full use of your life now and be happy as much as possible and try to make people remember you the way you would like them too. Cos that is the only thing that people would do once you go away from this world. Good night sweet dreams...

Toodles...

:(

2006-06-15T21:22:00.000+08:00

korang dengar lah lagu ni.. shima - luka dilukai... mesti korang nangis.. sad seh.. kesian seh.. :( sedih aku dengar... aku dengar lagu ni sedih... tapi ada jugak pomz masih jugak buat sebegini kepada lelaki.. aku tak tau kenapa... kenapa kenapa kenapa... ahhh... u play girls and play guys out there.. i have 2 words for u.. FUCKK OFF!

aku masih sedih... sedih sekalai.. sembilu je rasa hati ni.. haiz... teringat se dektu... betol la.. dia mengajar aku satu lesson... aku dibutai... trus dibutai.. aku tidak akan menyalahkan dia ... sebab.. aku rasa.. ada satu lagi benda yg aku ingin tau... adakan dia buat sebegini kerana permainan cinta.. atau adakah aku.... aku nak mendengar dari bibir dia sendiri yg apa yg telah berlaku hanyalah semata mata untok permainan cinta... tidak aku tidak akan berasa marah... kerana... ia telah.... berlalu...

Mind over matter.

2006-06-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

I was doing a post at Changi Ferry Terminal and had a chat with one my Reservist. Aparrently he was from Prison SPEAR(Singapore Prison Emergency Action Respons team. Had and insightful chat with him. I wont go into the details much as its kinda OSA(Official Secrets Act) thinggie.

But one thing that struck me was that he mentioned that in his line of job your physical shape matters. But once you reached(eventually you will) that you will realise that its your mental state that matters more. Which i had already know of cos, but never quite managed to experience it. Still waiting for that moment ;)

When i try to use it in my life context. Well its not that easy at all. Jus think, how many times are we using our mental strength? Scenarios i can think off is maybe during some elite trainin we go to. And when we're preparing for our final exams which determines if our 20k plus investment was worth it. Its kinda cool to know that if we have the mental strength, well we can be on top of our game anytime we want to! Its like we posses some kind of divinely strength that we can use at our beck and call.

Ponder and digest for the wise man not only does it, he in fact enrich it - Ilyas

Most women nowadays are materialistic

2006-06-11T00:28:00.000+08:00

What makes me say that? Its hard to find women that wont sway a little when such materialistic objects are placed infront of them. These objects such as money, cars/bikes, property, jewellery and etc etc. Gone are the days when women only sought pure love, care, concern, loyalty, faithfulness and wholeheartedness.

Just look around you. And please don say its the growing affluence thats influencing them. Jus look around you. Apart from those mats and minahs ah bengs and ah lians and our indian counterparts. How many of them are both normally decently financially dressed? Jus compare the days of yesteryears. Remember when our father wore they brandless checked or striped shirts with decently pressed pants and formal shoes while they were tryign to impress our mother? Compare what us guys are doing now? Firstly our top. Either that branded levis shirt or some sporty t-shirt to go with our levis pants or our billabong berms? See the diff? Our dad most prob spend like less then what 30 bucks? whereas us well let us see. The berms could already cost us at least 50 and the shirt well it could well cost more then 50. Thats like a fucking 70bucks more! Thats not including what branded underwear/boxers we're wearing the watch on our hands that spots casio g-shock or nike or whatever brand that we like. Oh ya don forget the perfume plus the expensive gel/hairspray/foam we use on our blardy balding hair(in 30yrs time) And this is jus the impression part. Theres still the movie taxi costs/petrol cost food recreation and what not that they want.

Then flowers picked from the garden is considered romantic. Now what do these women say? Cheapskate. What do theythink? Oh if these guy cant afford even flowers for then i dunt hink he's for me or he can afford me. Please, remember this, retribution comes. Oh yes it definitely will and you can bet your ass on that!

Guys jus think for awhile, unless u managed to screw the girl and get her pregnant, what do you need to get her? Are all of the above even enough? Even if it was enough there are bound to be other guys who have mroe then you and interested in the same girl ur into. And trust me, if you could tap her hp and all the msgs and hear what she's talking to that guy(who apparently is finan cially superior) oh god you could really see what an excess of the above could do to a girl.

Women of the world, jus remember this, like i said above and i'll say it above for YOUR benefit(i duno why im telling u, its not i dun wanna u all experience the terrible hell-like retribution, mebbe tis jus my good natured heart) that retribution will come and it definitely will come in this life and not the nether world. And remember that when your married to him and have a few kids and you suspect he's going out flirting with other ladies ahhhh thats when First Para Last Sentence comes to mind. And by then its no use regretting. Cos the milk has already spilled on the floor and my cute playful cat has already licked it clean(forgive me for my digress)

P.S: I dunno what the fark im talking about. But i jus feel like talking and thats what came out. No ill intention intended for the above brand. In fact i like those brands too! And like what some people would say to me. Not happy? Deal with it!

Mega - Bayangan Gurauan

2006-06-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

Tak pernah ku alami
Tak mungkin ku hindari
Di himpit perasaan
Bayangan gurauan

Di dalam jaga ku tercari-cari
Di dalam tidur termimpi-mimpi
Siapakah gadis misteri
Melambai dan terus menyepi

Jangan biarkan ku ternanti-nanti
Usah benarkan masa berlalu pergi
Cintamu oh! gadis misteri
Adakah kekal dan abadi

Andai di berikan emas permata
Ku pilih senyumanmu
Andai kupunyai mahligai indah
Ku hadiahkan untukmu

Dalam berjuta bintang berkelipan
Kau bagaikan kejora
Antara ribuan mata menikam
Takkan kubiarkan kau tenggelam

Di dalam jaga ku tercari-cari
Di dalam tidur termimpi-mimpi
Siapakah gadis misteri
Adakah dapat ku kenali
(Belum puas ku temui)

Cinta itu satu entiti yang boleh mengkaburkan mata hati and fikiran. Janganlah membiarkan ia diteruskan andainya anda telah diselubunginya. Cinta itu hanya bermakna jikalau ia tidak di dusta. Cinta itu hanyalah satu permainan hidup. Usah engkau dendami keindahan Cinta walau dirimu di kianati.

-- M. Ilyas & Faizal J.

I'm recovering.

2006-06-01T13:36:00.000+08:00

Hi there. Good news is i will be back on this blog soon(yeap i got a good feeling about it) Bad news is it wont be too soon. I'm recovering so to speak.

Recovering not from any illness. Jus some personal downs im experiencing. Actually its my love life. Recently i got back in touch with my old flame(if i could call it that cos we never got into a relationship to begin with) So she had some problems with her love life too. I thought i could well help her recover from it and i even promised her that i'll try to help her recover. Knowing that i could fall for her again(or maybe i already had at that point of time) i still tried. And true enough to my gut feelign i feel for her again. There are times when i tot i really had it going on and hey it could be a happy beginning. But as time have proven to me, it was not meant to be from the very first place. To cut a long story short i gave her a kind of ultimatum. Of which i actualll broke that ultimatum. So here i am recovering from it. Reason why i broke the very ultimatum i gave is because i felt that to a certain extent i was at fault. She told me that she did not want to start another relationship and i acknowledged. But being me, i jus couldnt help it and so i tried my luck. Who knows that i was trying a bad one. Haha. And after some cooling period, i msged her back saying im sorry and maybe we'll remain friends. But till date, no response. I dun really mind. To me the ball is in her court so yeah. If she does not want to hit it back well what can i do right? During the cooling off period i suddenly remembered that this whole thing started well from her. The story is as such. In the beginning we had feeling for each other. She ask me whether i wanted to take it to the next leve. Being me i was not ready and so i said no. So she went with another guy. After awhile we stop contacting each other and she changed her numb. I knew she changed her numb but i din ask for it cos well i tot it would be best. It was until a certain time that i got a msg from an unknown number. It was her. For now reason she msged me. So from there we cont to msg each other again. From one thing led to another. And it lead to this. Who would guess it would come to this? No one did.. Not even me. Ironically unfathomable. And since she seem like she don wanna contact me anymore i'll let it remain status quo. And thats the cos of my confused mind. And now im much happier adn recovering.

Now i'll jus try to focus on my own life. Its in a mess. I'm jus focusing on improving my life right now. Getting the old me back. The one who held on to his principles no matter what happen. The one who seems quiet but quietly observing the actions of others. The one who believes that education is the way to go to succeed. The one who is cautious of ppl he din know well. The one who knows he has alot to offer and doesnt mind if people do not know about it cos he believes that in time to come, with his actions it will show the people around him what he's actually made off what he has got to offer and the principles he so dearly stanf fast by. The real deal...

Life is really a choice that we choose from the paths we see before us.. Toodles...

I'm forced...

2006-05-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

There... I've said my piece... If she still don understand then its too bad... Either way i'm forced to continue life as it is and it was. Welcome to the new world Ilyas... I'll do what i always do.. Sleep and forgot about things and tomorrow will be a new day.. Everything's gonna be alright.. Like it always will... Hopefully...

Listenin to: Bila cinta di dusta - Syura & Grand

I think therefore i am. On hiatus indefinitely.

2006-05-02T11:27:00.000+08:00

My life is ok. Only a little screwed up. No mood to blog. Nothing to talk about. Someone even commented me to stop my stupid blogging. I have to agree, no substance in my blog anymore showing me the signs of my brain being totally messed up. Have u ever been in a situation where u know the answers but its jus so difficult to put it into practise. Yeah im in that situation now. God knows why i'm in this situation. Part of the problem is i created it, part of it is well jus that. No explanation conjured.

There are alot of things i could talk but its jus too personal and if i were to open up then people would see my vulnerabilities. 'nuff said. There will be small updates here and now in here but in general i'm gone. Someone once told me, "The cleansing of the soul is an endless process" With that i'm on hiatus. Toodles.

Was it only a dream?

2006-04-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

I see a different side of me. One that amazes me sometimes. Its not that difficult to "see" for me. But very difficult to achieve. It requires hardwork and teeth gritting guts to slug it out and force it out of me. One that when i decide to embark on it, would only be because of something significant. For now nothing significant has yet to come. With that the real me will stay inside and be locked inside. Not knowing what it could achieve, i decide that it should stay dormant till the time is ripe.

Or was i only dreaming? God knows.. God really knows.. Gd nite and sweet dreams dreamers.. Toodles~

bleah~

2006-04-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

Aiyo... How how how.. My finance is running haywire. Sheesh! Time to set my mode to ... errmmm.. ehhh.... working mode? WTF am i talking! Haha I'm a lil screwed this few days. Forgive me please.

Actually im feeling lazy to type out this blog. But im forcing cos i feel that i need to la. Theres alot of issues i wanna address and it had overcome me thats why i haven been bloggin regularly. Issues thats no so detrimental to me ni the short run but in the long haul well.. it seems kinda bad.

I thinks this is all for now. Till i dun feel tired and have the mood to blog again. Toodles~

Goodbye.

2006-04-17T00:11:00.000+08:00

Goodbye my lover - James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blind and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind but then I knew it,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(2x)

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I can not live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(2x)

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(2x)

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.(X2)

Slowly remodelling my life..

2006-04-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

Yup yup, i'm slowly remodelling my life now. Basic principals still stay. They are the core of me.

I'm excited to see the results. I'm excited while im slowly progressing. It takes effort i can say for sure. I'm giving myself this few months. If i can hold true to my short term goals, its a big step towards the bigger picture. For those not so close to me, well watch this space as i try not to fail myself again.

Theres more to life then the life you are having now... dats for sure! Toodles~

great~

2006-04-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

Yeah i'm feeing kinda optimistic. Finally i got something to look foward and to do on my off days. Jus hope i dun lose steam half way man! :x You guys wanna know? Well some of you can make a very reasonable guess but some have really no clue about it. Well i'll tell you guys in due time. Keke.

But my off day today is kinda sucky. No one to go out with. As usual. No idea on what to do. As usual. But at least i managed to iron my clothes b4 i go out. I usually dun do it cos i lazy. But today i manage to do it so im rather heppy bout it. Hehe.

Umm think either im sleeping soon or i go see some movie and slp later, much later. Haha. I jus realise something, i took like 8 months to do something that i kinda want cos im lazy or im jus waiting for the mood. Haha such a waste of time. Well hope i wont put off more time to do the next thing that i would like to do. What issit? Well i'll tell u guys in due time. Keke. K till then.. Toodles~

Yay bought my bag-cum-pouch~

2006-04-02T12:25:00.000+08:00

Eh oh there, after almost endless of looking around i could not find the pouch of my choice. So i settled down for the first bag that i had seen at sportslink that i liked. :) Pretty nice simple looking design. Below is how the bag looks like.. And i'm going to fill my bag up with some essential items such as... Well after i have something in mind then i'l fill it up la k. But essentially i'm gonna put my phone, mp3 player(when i get myself one and i hope to get it soon! with a speaker preferably) pen(hey in my line a pen is very useful!) paper( well i've already have that inside). Well well what can i say, the job we have kinda influence on our lifestyle, more or less i suppose.

I just talked to Shasi on the fone. Jus catching up on old friends. He seem to be using his time well, unlike me. I'll try to make use of my time like him yeah. The major problem with me is that i'm blardy lazy. Thats a bad bad thing. What can i say? I jus lurve to slack. In this society where paper chasing is never ending i'd rather take alot alot of steps back to just well like they say.. Sit back and enjoy the show~

Nothing much i've done today. I jus woke up, ate some lopis and now typing this blog. Yesterday i came back from work a little late. These few days i've been kinda bad luck. But good thing is i've adapted to the lifestyle and well i've learnt to take it in my stride. Some times i thank God for giving me this happy go lucky personality. It helps when things aren't going your way you know.

I've got loads of clearing up to do. All extra nonsensical stuffs on my table( and hope i can get a new table too) and my cupboard cum well cupboard. Haha All my old poly lecture notes, i'm contemplating to throw it all away. I hate to have old stuffs in my room. I feel like everything that's past me and i should let it stay in the past. Besides the notes and pprs i have from my poly days are like never been touched and look at for the past well 1 to 2 years? By that virtue i dun think i'll touch it again. Sounds reasonable? yeah i thought so too. Maybe i shall do that this off day. And to think i actually wanted to this when i was having my leave. Sheesh procratination kills sometimes. And not forgettin my cupboard, so many old clothes i have that well i keep jus in case for backup and stuffs. And again i've not touched them for like the longest time i know. Throw throw it all away~ Weee.

My colleague jus bought a new Toyota vios. 52K. He was patrolling with me when he showed me his new car. Well look new? Haha And yeah he was asking to get a car. It is very tempting you after you rent a car and stuffs. So much convenience and of cos the extra perks! ;) But then again, i dun really need it la. Mayeb when i'm like a few years down the road in my career.

I've this really buggin issue in my head, its whether or not to stay in my current job and make it my career. On one hand i want but on another hand i'm afraid that half way i'll stop and if im gonna start on a new one its gonna take loads of courage and well effort! You might say its quite early to decide on such stuffs and i kinda agree. But hey when we chose our poly courses we din know what we wanted to do too right? Well maybe i'll jus slp over it and slp over it and slp over it till i got the mood to think about it. LOL! K enough of bloggin time to think what to with my time before work starts. Oh shit i jus realise i do not know what to do now. Damn! I jus remembered i got my ppr work at work waiting to be done! Eeek!

Oh ya that day when i was talking to Abel, i saw that my watch strap the part where we slot the strap inside to hold it into place, it was torn! arghh! Now i have an added reason to get myself a new watch. LOL. K ciaoz, i'll think of something to do. As i'm thinkin of what to do im procratinating on what to think of what to do. Lol... Toodles~

2006-03-31T04:28:00.000+08:00

The following is from www.outpost.com and its authors.

I kinda believe its kinda true what he post. Poor good guys. Sighz. As much as most of you women disagree well i tink its kinda true for at least 60% of you all. Comments anyone?

Death of a Nice Guy By: Azrael
Women are always saying how they want a nice guy…someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.
Bullshit.
Next time I hear that from a woman, I will say exactly that. Bullshit. Because you don't want the nice guys. Sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. But the truth is - you want the jerks. You want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. You want the guys who don't call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they're committed to you. You want the ones who don't talk to you, don't open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) If you do find a nice guy, you make sure he's unattainable. He has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he doesn't want a relationship at all. Basically, you want what you can't have.
You know how I know this? I used to be a nice guy. Yeah, I'm the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. I listen to your problems, I offer advice. Like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, I'm always there to back you up. I tell you how pretty you are. I tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. You say thanks, briefly, and then continue to rant about Jerk #2873.
I tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there's always that "but…". Then you call me up at 1 in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it's made you. You make excuses for why he's been ignoring you. You make more plans to change him. "If." And, do you know what the worst part is? This is the guy you're attracted to. This is the guy you're willing to get physical with. This is the guy you're willing to lose your virginity to. You make a big deal about how you're not a slut, and you won't just kiss any guy. But you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. Or you want to. Or, you already have.
No, you don't want a nice guy. And don't give me that bullshit about "a good man is hard to find." There are millions of them out there. Probably hundreds around where you live. And I'm willing to bet you know a few. You know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? The one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? Is always willing to drop whatever he's doing to satisfy your needs?
What about him? No, of course not him. He's not enough of a jerk for you.
And the worst part? You don't want him now…but you will. When you get older, oh, say 30, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can't play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. Wait, I take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. We've been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we're all too happy to get it. We're nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you've been giving us for 15 years.
I used to be a nice guy. Fuck that. I took the phone calls, I dished out the compliments, I listened, I gave so much advice, shit, I should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. I used to be a nice guy, and I figured that I didn't need to actively look for a girl - that if I just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. I thought that I would make for an ideal partner, I'd open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.
I used to be a nice guy. What did that get me? 21 years of my right hand and softcore porn on Showtime. So, fuck it. Fuck it entirely. I'm not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. Next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn't called in a week, I'm just going to smile at you and say "Ok." In fact, maybe, I'll tell you to call him. Better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. Save us all some time. I feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.
And I like that.

2006-03-28T00:34:00.000+08:00

God, i seek your forgiveness for all the sins i have done for i am just but a mere mortal that was created by you. I have ignored the very task you brought me to this world for. Try as i might, maybe i did not try hard enough, i am not able to fulfill it. But yet, as i know i have not done anything worthy of any favours from you, here i am, ur humble soul, still praying and asking time and again, ur divine help and intervention in setting my life straight. For i was taught that your compassion and forgiveness knows no boundaries and for the widest ocean nor the highest mountain bear the littlest resemblance to what you have already offered to me. I have already lost my way. The longer i hold on to this principle of mine, the deeper i feel i'm falling. Give me a sign if i should continue for a while more or is it Time?

Maybe You knew, all along, that i, do not want to change? :(

How i wished..

2006-03-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

How i wish that life could be simple. Jus the way i'd love it.

How i wish that working wasn't so hard. I jus need to report for work, do the necessary stuffs and voila by the time i know it i'm on my way back home happily. No office/work politics, no extra duty recall no work undone no tough moments with bosses and clients/customers alike.

How i wish continuine studies aint that difficult. Jus choose which instituition i want, choose the course and voila studies at own time own target. Fees reasonably priced for everyone. I dun have to go thru the chores of thinkin where to get the money for it or to that extent how to get a loan.

How i wished that life and work could integrate harmoniously. It compliments each other so much so that going to work and studying is a daily affair that i could look forward too.

Wishes wishes thats all i ever do... Haha such is life... Toodles..

Time to take a break...

2006-03-22T16:18:00.000+08:00

Hello there everyone... Finally my bloggin mood came, at least a little bit of it. So lemme see.. What happened recently. Yesterday i worked so nothing much. Before that went for my training shoot at Home Team Academy. Seems like a bery huge place. Looks nice. I'm sure its a nice place to slack by the pool at night where all the buildings would look upon u as the night pass by. Jus for your info, the Home Team Academy aka HTA is a centralised training facility for the home team like PRISON POLICE ICA CISCO and others. Back to my shooting, the new range is pretty cool. Its like what you see on TV where the targets moves on its own, i mean you dun have to walk and paste ur target. Jus clip the target on the moving beam and the target will move on its own(of cos contraolled by someone in the control rooom lar) And thats not the only good thing, theres a few ranges there, so yeah waiting time for shooting is cut down drastically. At least now i know where my money goes to, and good use to it too! haha. It was jus training shoot so no pass or fail. Out of 55 shots 52 in 3 out, go figure! lolz... 200 buckaroons im coming for u! Kekeke..

Jus in case if ur wondering which i prefer, whether the old TRACOM at thomson rd or new HTA, well i'd choose TRACOM anytime. Firstly i was trained there secondly i jus like the serenity and lack of Urban buildings. Its not like the whole place is kampong like ar.. but it seems more rural with all the mini "forests" Unlike the new HTA where it seems to be very well modern~

Well for my fellow colleagues, i know u cant wait for tonite abt 11pm right? hehehe.. spend it wisely eh? Btw i took one tour off, so this weekend we can play soccer again! woohoo~ provided there are people playing so upon reading this pls make urself free yeah~ hehe~

Thats about it la... Toodles~

I'm wondering...

2006-03-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

For all the times i've tried, i've failed plus one.

A surreal situation i've always wanted but just like the idea itself... Its like a dream that fades away as time goes by.. A million times i've said it to myself buy never once did it made anywhere near its supposed destiny... And i wonder...

I wonder where it went wrong? From the beginning? Or it could be the ending. A surreal idea that well, only achievable in my dreams... Wondering wont get me anywhere without action... But i still wonder..

I see dead people.. No, not really. I see people doing what i've always wanted. And i definitely know i could do better. But i just cant. Mebbe the if u tink u can means u can aint working for me. And i continue to wonder..

I wonder what drives them? What do they think? Where they get their motivation which i really seem to be lacking of. And i'm still wondering...

And like i said before... Wondering wont get me anywhere without action.. But what can i do.. I just like to wonder... Wonderful!!!

Enough of me wondering... I shall go to sleep and continue my wondering at another time and place.. Toodles!

Finally saw something i like...

2006-03-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

Hello there... I jus came back from watching Underworld Evolution with naser. It was a so-so movie. Storyline aint that great but still i think it beats sitting at home and doing well.. nothing!

While waiting for the show to start, we went to royal sporting house and i managed to get myself a pair of slipper. Its black in color with some oranggie lines as design. Pretty nice i thought. So i got myself one. I got it also partly because due to some misunderstanding from my sis and mum and they threw my slipper. Right now i'm in need of a street soccer boot, running shoe, sandal and a going out show. Yup quite alot of money i'm going to spend if i'm gonna get all of it at one shot. I'll see how ar.

Also while we were browsing b4 the movie starts, i saw this ring that i kinda like. Its those greyish color kind of ring. A pity they dont do engraving, then i can add a personal touch to it. And i think its made of aluminium or stainless steel. If anyone knows of anywhere i can get that kinda ring then jus comment aight? Thanks in advance.

Apart from the above that i wanna buy, i'm also eyeing the zen neeon. mebbe the 2gig version if its cheap. If not i'll jus get the 1gig version. Jus hope that it doesnt need any software to transfer the song into it. Think i'll message a frn and see if she knows anything about it.

I've gotta work tomorrow, and i haven iron my shirt yet. Okies la, i wont type so much la. Till the next time i blog! Toodles~

I'm working on it...

2006-03-03T22:59:00.000+08:00

Yes guys! I'm working on it! Stop pressuring it on me! I know I know! Its jus gonna take some time yeah. Haha~

Happi buffday!

2006-02-28T03:03:00.000+08:00

Yup.. Happy 22nd buffday to me! I'd hope i can stay at this age forever, but surrender myself to the inevitable i will. By the way it was on 27 feb, not 28. A lil backdated.

Nothing special on my buffday. Ate my buffday cake on midnight of 28 feb.. lolz... Bought by my sis. Got a lil present from her too. Perfume from body shop. Thats about it. Jus a lil update. Till then... Toodles~

Files backed UP!

2006-02-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

Yeah i finally bought a portable hdd. Toshiba 40gig costs me 123buckarroos. Not sure if its cheap or expensive. But its within my 150 bucks budget. Anyway i didnt know i would be buying the external case. Upon reaching the MRT when i checked the receipt, the casing cost me 20bucks. Thats super expensive for a piece of metal! And its not even pretty! I suppose i could get a nicer one with colours with a lower price. Oh well blame me for not checking. Anyway im quite happy for now all my pictures and files are safely kept in my hdd.

Other then that this week i kinda spent the week by shopping. I bought a new nike cap. I kinda like the cap as its clima cool i tink. So its think and plastic-like material. So when i sweat i suppose it dries faster. And i suppose its easier to wash. I also bought a new bermudas, shorts bermudas for me to use at home. Im actually using it right now. I bought a new ball so that when i organise soccer i don depend on ppl. It can get pretty irritating sumtimes. I also bought those LED torchlights for my work use. But one of the bulbs seems not to be working. Am i in bad luck or what. I also bought this velcro net thinggie to keep my computer wires in place. Well it doesnt really seem to take care of the problem. Oh well i jus wanted to tried it out. Another bad choice i suppose. I got another bad choice i made but i suppose i wont be saying that out la. Haha its kinda buy on impulse thinggie. i dun usually do that u know. Wonder why i did it. Oh well Retail therapy. Ladies would know right. hehe.

I'm suppose to be on leave tml. But got called back cos someone taking child sick leave. I din ask for the leave, i was asked for the leave, so i just said ok. Now must come back. Kepala jango! Haha. Oh well better also. I plan to take leave end of the month. See i can take anot. Looking forward to my off days. Its the only thing i can look forward to right now. I got nothing to look forward nowadays.

I went for a run just now. A very short one. Really short one. But it felt so tiring. Never have i felt so tired after a run man. All those fast food and oily stuffs really taking the toll on me. I had wanted to do 3 reps. But i only managed one. Ok dun luff at me k! Haha shit im luffing at myself. Anyway im just starting out. But it felt good. Even tho i did oni 1 rep i felt that i pushed myself. I felt good after that. Hope i will cont. I plan to follow the same route i took today and do more or less the same exercise. Its not only for looks sake. IPPT coming in a few more months. If i dun make it now sure fail. Then no get money. Grr.. Hope i can at least get silver then.

I was looking thru some courses and it hit me that if i were to take the courses then they have internship. But since i'm working, how to do internship? And i plan to stay in my job, at least thats what im feeling right now. Any good degree without internship? Wonder....

Toodles...